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Alexis Jane Torre Headshot

Your Biggest Story Doesn't Have to Be a Love Story

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A couple nights ago, I was looking for something to watch on TV, and I stumbled on 27 Dresses. A movie that I remember really enjoying when I first watched it. But, as I re-watched it, I found it myself basically cringing at half of the scenes. Within the first few minutes, the main character found her calling in helping with weddings. As the story goes on, we see our main character at work where she is in love with her boss. We see her talking to her best friend about how in love with her boss she is. We see her having family problems with her sister, which deal once again with her feelings for her boss. So, I guess I was picking up the vibe that she liked her boss or something.

And, I get it that it's a romantic comedy and whatnot so one should be expecting love to be a pretty common theme throughout the movie, but I guess I've grown tired of movies that portray that a woman's biggest adventure is falling in love. That shed little light on being career-oriented, or on bonding with friends about topics outside of the issues of guys (Bechdel Test much?), or even on tackling those family problems that everyone has.

And, this issue of constantly being told to search for your soul mate at the expense of everything and everyone else perpetuates past movies. Sometimes, it's easy to forget that we can find love in our jobs, our friends, and our family, and to focus on the purely romantic kind of love. In fact, we vent to our family and friends about not being able to find "the one" and take for granted that we already do have a circle of people who love us.

I feel like I've already written about this topic a few times before. But, it's that I keep continuing to see so many books and movies that show us -- especially teen/ young adult females -- that our only story that matters is finding our one true love and having some spontaneous romantic gestures along the way. That your main goal in life is to find a guy who tells you that you're not like other girls, and if you're a guy, find a girl who isn't like other girls. (To be honest, I never fully understood or believed in that whole "not like other girls" thing. I actually wrote a blog post on this confusion/ disagreement.) That your biggest story has to be a love story.

But, once again, I'm just writing a friendly reminder that you choose your story. You can find a love for a place, or a job, or a person in a non-romantic way. Your biggest story doesn't have to be some epic romance or a cute, quirky rom-com. Your biggest story is whatever you write it to be.