I knew almost immediately I was pregnant. The first sign was my aversion to coffee, a flavor I've loved for 20 years and bacon, a flavor I rediscovered during chemo. My belly bloated with such a full feeling I could only eat a few bites of food for meals and...
Posted September 6, 2011 | 9/6/11
I'm not your typical cancer survivor. Course, I don't really know what "typical" means in this case. After all, I feel like I've only been "a survivor" for a few months, even though I was diagnosed with breast cancer well over three years ago.
I suppose...
Posted April 5, 2011 | 4/5/11
Inevitably when I discuss my fertility preservation choice to freeze embryos with donor sperm, I am asked, "Did you get to see his photo?" I respond the same way every time: "Only a baby photo, and I would never want to see a current photo of my donor."
The fertility...
Posted June 15, 2010 | 6/15/10
When I was younger, my courage came from being a competitive, tomboy / feminist in training. If a boy in the neighborhood were going to climb a tree and tell me I couldn't do it because I was a girl, I'd do it anyway. I did things so that a...
Posted December 7, 2009 | 12/7/09
It's another sleepless night. Insomnia tortures me. I can't tell if I'm afraid of what awaits me in my unconscious mind or afraid of waking to find that the new day has brought no relief to the dark depression I am suffocating from.
It's 6:05 am Saturday morning. I...
Posted April 17, 2009 | 4/17/09
I'm 32-years-old and I didn't know I had breast tissue all the way up to my collarbone. I received a great education, graduated college and excelled in my career. I thought I knew my body well - in fact, taking care of it was an extreme hobby of mine. But,...
Posted March 11, 2009 | 3/11/09
On December 27, 2008 I moved from my first home in Redondo Beach, CA to someone else's home in Malibu.
My friend Grace told me she thought I was running away. I knew she was right, but instead of owning up to it, I wondered aloud if I would...
Posted January 7, 2009 | 1/7/09
I moved to California when I was just 23 years old. I thought I was an adult then; how ironic that since having breast cancer I feel more like a child now than a grown-up. Sometimes, I even hear my voice sounding light and whimsical, much like a young girl...
Posted October 27, 2008 | 10/27/08
It's been months since I've written a new column. I could say that I had writer's block, but that would be a lie. Words are constantly showing up in my mind; words that often don't feel like they belong to me. Since I was a young girl, words, sentences, poems,...
Posted July 8, 2008 | 7/8/08
A few weeks ago, I received starling news. Dr. Lisa Cassileth , my reconstructive surgeon, and her office nominated me for the American Society of Plastic Surgeon's Patient of Courage Award. To say I am stunned, honored and touched would be an understatement.
I've been ruminating for weeks...
Posted June 11, 2008 | 6/11/08
Last Saturday, June 7, 2008 was the Race for the Cure in Washington, DC. My sister, Jacqueline, had organized a team of about 40 people to walk in My Vision Foundation t-shirts behind a beautiful banner that listed me and my mother first as breast cancer survivors. Even most...
Posted May 20, 2008 | 5/20/08
The day I write this blog marks the four-week anniversary of my double mastectomy. Instead of recounting the trials I have encountered while healing over these last four weeks, I am reflecting on the fourth day leading up to my surgery. That day was the most alive and present I...
Posted May 6, 2008 | 5/6/08
Early on in my breast cancer diagnosis, I learned cancer treatments can cause infertility. Chemotherapy can throw a young woman into a permanent state of menopause, subsequently causing infertility. Tamoxifen, an oral tablet usually prescribed for five years for those with an estrogen sensitive cancer (meaning estrogen causes your...


Posted October 14, 2011 | 10/14/11