Two Moose for Sister Sarah -- A Requiem

"You shouldn't say anything bad about her. Sarah Palin is really pretty, guys. And she's crying." Stern notice from my eleven year-old daughter that any trashing, finger-pointing and gloating we momentarily planned in our celebration of Republican concession would not be tolerated. We dare not ignore Marissa's protestations at our peril. A little sympathy for the Mean Girl.

Sarah Palin, pretty, calm, misty-eyed--standing stoically in a lovely cobalt-blue ensemble, listening sorrowfully as her running mate conceded their campaign and effectively ended her rock-star rising.

Of course the back-stabbing of Sister Sarah arrived the proverbial Morning After, if only because the knives were sharpened to surgical-grade performance and placed on the embalming table of Sister Sarah's career weeks ago by the very folks that westward-hoed into the great White North, offered her the V.P. nomination and the chance to save the Republicans from burning in the flames of historical irrelevancy, one more election cycle to ignore their fellow Americans hyperventilating in fear and anxiety at being mired in home and job losses, unjust wars and saber-rattling, the crises of health care, the gas pumps, the classrooms, the heinous denial of basic human rights with Proposition 8 and various lockstep referendums in California, Arkansas, Virginia, Florida. Who needs an actual domestic policy, or even a public sense of compassion and understanding of the needs of common Americans when you have a fine-as-red-wine Queen of the MILFs that can bust a cap in a herd of bovine from Air Force Two? Vet her? Hell, I barely know her! Seriously folks. The Alaska Advance team ignored the pregnant teen-aged daughter on the sofa and the Alaskan separatist husband in the Lazy Boy lounger. Sister Sarah, quickly crowned to be the Eva Peron of a ragged GOP end-of-days.

Then, the Morning After, and Sister Sarah went from being one-half of the party standard bearer to the Whore of Babylon, Elly Mae Clampett sportin' a bikini underneath her parka. The McCain campaign went into meltdown in mid-September, unwilling and unable to face the economic calamity book-ended by the three-card monte game ushered in with Reagan and the lets-fiddle-while-Rome-burns ethic of the Bush-Cheney junta.

"Who do we hang out to dry," asked the sore losers. The answer for McCain insiders is that ultimate maverick, Sister Sarah, of course. The leaks from the McCain folks are classic trickle-down political economics; Sarah's a spendthrift! Diamonds on the soles of her shoes, she spends some poor wealthy conservative contributors dollars to dress herself and family to look decent standing next to Cindy McCain and all of those other beltway babes who I'm guessing recommended which personal shopper to use on her shopping trips to Neiman Marcus. The nerve!

Second leak: and she's a slut, too! Conducting life-or-death campaign business in nothin' but a towel, and with that useless dude of a husband just sitting around like he's watching Nailin' Paylin' in 3D. Egads! Let the monsoon flow: did you know that the "Wasilla hillbilly" didn't know that Africa was a continent? Do you think in her two-hour vetting process she should have mentioned that to McCain operatives? Yikes!

The breakin'-bad on Sister Sarah will continue, and we'll all relish in the sordid tidbits, until a more relevant political celebrity comes along to draw attention away from Sister Sarah (or we finally stop stuffing ourselves with fluff, roll up sleeves and get to cracking down on solving really big problems our nation and world face).

How can Governor Palin avoid her political obituary and redeem herself? Three words -- education, education, education. Get Smart ain't just a TV show. Become a true feminist, learn the real issues that face women beyond Wasilla. Sister Sarah is entitled to her opinion, but if she is to remain a respected member in public life, her P.O.V. must be thoughtful, and respectful of the opposing P.O.V. Take a public speaking course, 'cause Sister Sarah is god-awful at it. Very pretty she may be, but like a Domino's pizza -- looks good on the menu, but screw up the delivery and there's goes two bucks off the check. Sign up for a geography class -- I've got a feeling that it's not just Africa she may be blissfully ignorant about.

Best wishes to you, Sister Sarah. If you make it back down to these parts, I don't foresee the likes of me casting a vote your way -- too many ideological differences. But Marissa and a gaggle of other little American girls think you're "very pretty" -- and if you plan on being a public servant for them, they have a right to demand polish, intelligence and compassion from you. And you, Sister Sarah, deserved better than what you got from John McCain & Company. First they needed a savior, then they needed a patsy -- you filled both voids. Taking one for the team you've been kicked off of has got to be the ultimate insult -- but it's all on you to educate and protect yourself from your own familial switch blades.

Comments

[morphyous]

Guess what? I am sick of everyone treating Palin like the "poor little girl", everyone's picking on her ! Give me a break ! Sarah palin accepted the nod from MCCain and being so completely out of touch with her abilities, made her first mistake. This whole fiasco is her fault, she HAS to take responsibility ! Would the people that are coming to her defense be doing this if she were a HE ? I doubt it ! She told us she was as good as a man, demanded equality, screamed SEXISM every time someone dared go against her. Well Sarah, as Hillary Clinton said to Barack , if you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen! Hiding behind your sex when expedient , and using it to gain support is just wrong . Sarah, you said the ugliest things against your opponent, lies, and hate speak. You brought out the worst in people, allowed them to scream "kill him" at your rallies and fanned the flames of racism in an already ailing nation. I will not forgive you. You are guilty of all the slurs you spoke , WHERE is your patriotism, love of country, your fellow man? Does your religion teach you to hate? The American people deserved so much better than what you offered !

[Dee123]

Great article.

[larry278]

Sarah Palin reminds me of my aunts & women I dated who were in law enforcment. They never go anyplace without their purse; they always hold their purses close & tight to get to their guns, razors or razor sharp knives. They always carry hand cuffs too. Don't reach to touch the purse unless you want to draw back a bloody stump. Don't ever get betweeen a lady & her purse, never. I'm glad that my mom taught me to touch her purse. It's a surval skill. Sister Sarah fishes & hunts. Check her knives, the one she always carries; it's sharp & has ridges on the back of the blade for scaling; kind of like a lady correction officer's blade. A woman who can identify a fish at a glance, have it fileted & frying in 30 seconds is a quick study. Sister Sarah is a quick study. Treat her with respect. She can be a good friend in a crowd. If she gives you that look, move. If she gives you that look & a real light nudge, fly.
Sister Sarah learns quick. She can spot danger or opportunity fast. That's how she stays alive.

[aofh]

Interesting, but does she have the right kind of survival skills for national and international, or even state-level, politics? Not all threats are of immediate bodily harm, in deed, most aren't. The question is whether Sister Sarah and her ilk can recognize complex, nonphysical threats and know how to deal with them effectively. Failure can cost us our way of life.

[overcat]

Sarah Palin was a GIFT to the Obama campaign and the American electorate. She was and is a tangible example of why the republicans deserve to be thoroughly marginalized. Vapid, shallow, anti-intellect, looks good on the surface, but go any deeper and find poison, dishonesty and an ultimately traitorously un-American mindset. For McCain to choose her demonstrated to Americans and some republicans that he is no different from the degeneracy of the Bush/Cheney/Rove crew.

[greymom]

When I think of all of the qualified, intelligent republican women that McCain could have chosen but did not because they weren't 'pretty" enough, it makes me gag. I think they were not after the religious conservative base, but the NASCAR Dads and they don't care if she knows that Africa is a Continent. They don't either.

[anothervoice2]

Exactly, Palin was chosen as the "pretty lady". Too bad that the GOP chose to emphasize looks - that is what women have tried to overcome at work over so many decades. To be treated on the basis of skills not looks. But Palin played along well - the barracuda co-worker we have all seen - using her looks to get the men in power hooked. "blah blah, wink, smile, blah, smear, blah, also, blah, smear, blah, "show leg", blah, blah, also, wink"...mission accomplished!

[mysterygirl18]

Sarah Palin lost on election day
Now she's going far away
The moose all know she's coming back
Saint Sarah's ready for the attack-
After all she doesn't really need to govern the state-
She has people covering her at a record rate...

[2horsefeathers]

your writing is like music, and I like the words too!

[BodhiMaMa]

Education alone won"t help Palin she needs to awaken. In fact, well educated folks with the wrong intentions are far more dangerous to society. I have a very hard time with anyone who could selfishly kill for pleasure. No amount of education will make her a better public servant unless she opens her heart to true compassion.

www.latimes.com/media/photo/2008-08/41999285.jpg (Pretty is as pretty does.)

[happyexpat08]

Actually, we should all thank Palin (or the good Samaritan who pushed to get her on the ticket) for helping Obama get elected. The race might have been a lot tighter without her.

Here's my video thank you to America for this amazing day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4YgKHPcC64

[JimboSlice]

Nope sorry, you get what you deserve in this life, and Sister Sarah deserves the knifes jammed into her back after she has done the same to every political mentor she has had along the way. Time to Sister Sarah to pack some pinstripes for tax evasion, and for the people of Wasilla to investigate why a lot of their building materials wound up in her house!

[Nikonicus]

The political wedding between McCain and Palin was a disaster waiting to happen. Now we're witnessing an ugly, public divorce. Palin is presenting herself as the victim of the press and unnamed enemies within the campaign. To his credit, McCain is staying silent on this. Otherwise, this is another ugly celebrity divorce.

Palin over-reached and now she's paying the price. Unfortunately, her children and even her state are also paying the price.

www.nikonicus.net

[kimberfitz]

Mazel Tov, Alice. A great post, funny and right on target. Marissa is kind-hearted and wants to believe that everyone has good intentions, and that no one should be ridiculed for not knowing that Africa is a continent, or that South Africa is a country in a continent. She is still untarnished by the adult cynicism and skepticism we all have after the Shrub had his way with us. "Fool me once ... I won't get fooled again." The GOP is going down, hard and fast ... and they deserve all the ridicule they get because they brought it all on themselves.

[RonCanada]

Alice, I love your writing style, and your observations. Spot on.

[iyamchazz]

Moose are once again terrified and thinking of relocating to the lower 48.
SHE'S BACK!!!

[vegas9999]

For now, we have a new president-elect. In the spirit of reaching across the aisle, we owe it to the Democrats to show their president the exact same kind of respect and loyalty that they have shown our recent Republican president.

[mightyhead]

Somewhere between our Republican presidents' pledge to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States and his quote that "it's just a godd*mned piece of paper", we all were excused from showing the man respect and loyalty.

And if you are going to quote Ann Coulter, you should give her the credit.

[suzifla]

We may not have liked Bush or voted for him, but we gave him the respect and support any United States president deserves. Now suck it up, because we did for eight years, watching the country WE LOVED TOO going down the toilet.

[ManWithLantern]

Of course, Repubs really gave Clinton a lot of respect and gratitude for leaving the office with a surplus and eight of the best economic years in recent history.
Obama doesn't need your respect in order to do a GREAT job for the country, he will just DO IT!