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Alida Nugent

Alida Nugent

Posted: December 18, 2010 01:18 PM

Now that it's flu season, a lot of us have been bedridden in the afternoons we'd usually spend at work. And at 2:00 in the afternoon, with a pile of Kleenex and sinuses full of misery, there's nothing better than turning on the television and... Did you know that for about six hours a day most cable networks will just play back-to-back episodes of crime dramas? Law and Order, CSI, your thousands of CBS good-cop hybrids... Take your pick. No, I mean take your pick because that's what you're going to be watching straight for the next two days that you took off work. Luckily, there is a lot to learn from these shows. Don't believe me? I'll prove it!

If you are a B-list actor, you’re a murderer
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Brian Dennehy, that dude that Hillary Swank married and anybody who was not Carrie in "Sex in the City" all have what starts to be little cameos at the beginning of a Law and Order episode. They begin as the harmless babysitter, ex-stepmother or shoe salesman and BOOM! Don’t be fooled by their lack of makeup, unflattering lighting and airtight alibi, they are murderers and should not be defined by the only other well-known part they have played. They’re the center of an evil sex ring! Every actor who nobody cares about anymore or whose show got canceled has two options: begging their agent for a final courtroom scene where they can reveal why they drowned their children OR do a commercial for an osteoporosis medication. That’s about it.
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