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Alisha L. Gordon Headshot

Purpose and Relationships: How Do They Fit?

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Many people try to find the answer to two things: what is my purpose and who am I supposed to marry? There are tons of books and lifestyle gurus who seemingly have the answer to both, but there's a correlation between the two that I think no daytime talk host or best selling author has figured out yet.

My friends and I have mulled over the idea that there's some direct correlation between a woman finding her purpose and then finding her husband. What I've found is that the two go hand and hand and here's how:

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul discusses the rights and responsibilities of single and married people. In verses 32-35, Paul notes that people who are single should spend their time focusing on God, His plan, His ways, getting to know Him. Why? He notes that those who are married have to divide their time between God and their spouse, leaving less room to focus on God and His plan for our lives.

I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you're unmarried, you're free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God.

I'm trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions. (verses 32-35, The Message Version)

As a single person, God gives us the chance to really get to know Him, get into His presence. We only have to focus on His plan for our lives and learn how to best execute it.

Once we marry, we are charged with the responsibility of caring for our spouse, helping them achieve their dreams.

That leads me to the next question we've discussed: why does it always seem like the woman knows and is walking in her purpose before her future husband (or seemingly before the guy who finds her finds his purpose?) (this isn't every situation, but it happens.)

The answer is simple: women are a helpmeet to their husbands. Their primary goal is to help them achieve their goals, be their support. Going into the marriage, it is vitally important for a woman to know her purpose and why she was put here for one very important reason: so she doesn't get lost.

Lost? Yes! Lost. Have you ever heard of a woman who has been married 10, 15, maybe 20 years who spent all of her married life supporting her husband's dreams only to look back and realize that there has been an empty void in her own life? She suddenly realizes that while in her quest to support her husband's dreams, she's forgotten her own and lost her identity as a person with purpose in God.

To ensure that this doesn't happen, God allows women to learn who they are, get into their purpose and gain as sense of self prior to the marriage. He allows her to be established in what He has for her so when her focus has to shift to being a helpmeet, she's not emotionally and mentally lost. Ideally, her helping her husband reach his goals will in turn help her continue with the ones she established prior to the relationship.

Look how meticulous God is about our lives! He knows that the woman will sacrifice herself even her dreams to help a man achieve his own and if she's not already established in what she was put on this earth to do, she can lose a piece of herself in the process!

Hope this nugget of revelation helps you in your quest for purpose and love! There's a method to HIS madness!

Scripture References: Genesis 2:18, 2:21-25, 1 Corinthians 7:32-36