A guide to words I wish were part of our common vernacular.
miu miu: a designer cat's purr
BILF: Beverly Hills Housewife I'd Like To Fight (see also, Carlton Gebbia)
barre tab: a monthly budget allotted to ballet-inspired fitness classes
"My barre tab was so high this month. I totally have to wait for the next Groupon to exercise."
lulu-lemon: a pair of yoga pants that are more revealing than advertised
blotox: the inability to perform a breathalyzer due to recent anti-wrinkle treatment
horbath: the shower one feels she needs after watching one of Hannah's bedroom scenes on GIRLS
missoni-phobia: the avoidance of wearing full-price designer stripes for fear others will mistake them for the Target line
facehooker: affectionate term for a friend who posts bikini selfies on social media during winter months
vitamiss: regret felt after opting for a lesser brand than the Vitamix
zoe-pack: prescribing a friend a warning for the unhealthy over-use of terms like "I die," "Sky-Sky" and "shut it down"
sensitivity chip: guilt-free, gluten-free, taste-free snack
burching (also, burchin'): effortless accessorizing while on vacation in a tropical climate (often by making use of bright tunics and the color orange)
"Work is so brutal lately. I can't wait 'til Presidents Day weekend when I'm burchin' it with an umbrella drink in my hand."
insect-aside: the knowing consumption of a glass of wine after a bug has flown inside
Claire-sonic: the toothbrush one longs for after an all-night Homeland binge
Tinder-izing: researching a move to another city by logging into Tinder during an airport layover
Google-eyed: the feeling of career motivation a young professional experiences after networking at a tech conference filled with young hipster gurus who make Google Glasses look cool
whore-ding: the realization one's full-to-the-brim closet is more suited for drinks in the financial district than a job in the financial district
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