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Parentless Parents: It's My Birthday!

Posted: 03/19/11 06:26 PM ET

Yesterday was my birthday, and here's what I did:

7:00 a.m. to 8:45 a.m.: Got birthday cuddles from kids. Opened birthday cards. Received small presents. Got kids off to school. Kissed husband. Felt lucky.

8:45 a.m.: Birthday breakfast with friends.

10 a.m.: Attended Geography Bee at son's school. He's in the finals, and I was excited to cheer like crazy.

11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.: Lunch with friends, followed by walk along the Hudson River.

12:30 p.m. to 1:45 p.m.: Yoga.

2:30 p.m. to 3:30 p.m.: Massage at my local spa (babysitter arrived for school pickup while I was being rubbed with aromatherapy oils).

4:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m.: Manicure and pedicure at local nail salon.

5:00 p.m. to 5:30 p.m.: Walked home (did I mention that I walked everywhere and refused to get in the car until dinner?).

5:30 p.m.: Arrived home, and really appreciated my kids because I hadn't seen them all day. I was super relaxed and had exercised. I was feeling great!

5:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m.: Hung with kids. Tidied the house (it makes me happy). Got ready for dinner.

8:00 p.m.: Family dinner at Ethiopian restaurant. On my birthday, I wanted to try something new -- and smiled when kids and husband did, too.

My birthday was incredibly self-indulgent. And why not?

One of the most important lessons I've learned since my parents passed away is the absolute necessity of taking care of myself. I've come to realize that I am the only person responsible for my happiness -- not my husband, not my friends. Here's how I describe this epiphany in my new book, "Parentless Parents":

What I've learned is that I can no longer go through life just being a mother, wife, writer, and homemaker. I need to take on one more additional role. I also need to be a parent to myself. I don't need to wait for anyone to treat me to anything. And I don't think my parents would have wanted their daughter to rely solely on somebody else to take care of her needs, either. My parents, after all, taught me to be self-sufficient.

As you go through your day, think of me enjoying every bit of mine. Even though I can't share my children with my parents, and especially given all the horrors unfolding in Japan, I know I am one of the lucky ones.

***

Here's the link to make my birthday dreams come true: buy a copy of "Parentless Parents"!

 
 
 

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Siren Song
I used to be Snow White but I drifted - Mae West
02:22 AM on 03/22/2011
Happy Birthday! Sounds like you had a really lovely and special day.

Last year was the first without receiving a birthday card from my mother. She has Alzheimers and these days she usually thinks it's almost Christmas. I am lucky to still have my father, who cares for her. But it is a strange feeling to no longer be able to share everything with her; I miss her so much. Her illness has really given me a jolt, not just that I am losing her, but on so many levels. Well, my birthday is coming up, and I've told my husband I plan to celebrate for the entire month!
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librainstars
even the smallest things in life make a difference
09:20 AM on 03/20/2011
Happy Birthday :)
You have no clue how much i needed to read this
"And I don't think my parents would have wanted their daughter to rely solely on somebody else to take care of her needs, either. My parents, after all, taught me to be self-sufficient."

Very wise words and thank you so much....

Im glad your day was wonderful
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Allison Gilbert
05:09 PM on 03/20/2011
And your comment has further made my weekend! I am so glad you took the time to write. Thank you so much! -- Allison
missprissanna
the weight of the news nearly broke my back
09:00 PM on 03/19/2011
Happy birthday! Enjoy.
07:25 PM on 03/19/2011
Happy Birthday!!! With an upcoming birthday in two weeks and being parent less this article really hit home. Hope you continue to enjoy every minute of the way your parents would want you to.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Allison Gilbert
05:10 PM on 03/20/2011
Thanks so much, Stefanie. I hope you have a great, great birthday too!!!! And, thanks so much for taking the time to leave a comment. :)