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Black Versus Gay Is a Tiresome Argument

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A recent comment by NAACP President Benjamin Jealous had me saying here we go again:

In an article from ThinkBig:
Jealous is also attuned to the civil rights struggles of another minority group--gay Americans--and aware of the public perception that black activists have been lukewarm in supporting their cause. Yet for his own family as well as the NAACP, he says, gay rights are not only important but "personal"--and if there's a gap between the movements, it's a product of insufficient outreach from the LGBT side.

I remarked "here we go again" because I can predict what's going to happen next.

Some in the LGBT community are going to be get defensive instead of maybe assessing the fact that Jealous's words have a ring of truth. Already, terms like "hater" and "homophobe" have been thrown around.

The black community will most likely have another "if we ignore it, maybe it will go away" moment that it always does when it comes to issues of the gay community.

Meanwhile, LGBT of color, who are by now are so used to this sort of thing, will wonder yet again "will these turkeys ever get this issue right?"

I'm sorry if I sound cynical but when it comes to the tired old argument of black community vs. gay community, I feel as if some entity out of a Roger Corman movie has attached itself to my side and has sapped the energy right out of me, putting in its place a kind of weariness.

So let me be succinct. I'm tired of the arguments. It doesn't matter if the gay movement for equality is the same as the African-American civil rights movement (it is). And it doesn't matter if sometimes, well-meaning white gays and lesbians refuse to acknowledge that they take unfair liberties in assessing the two movements without knowing the inner workings of the black civil rights movements (they do).

We are going to continue to have this tired argument until both communities stop clinging to past symbolism and acknowledge the present and probably only true connection between the black and gay community - me and the rest of my lgbt brothers and sisters of color.

Speaking for myself, I get a very low opinion of both communities when this tug of war of position takes place. I don't feel like a person to the black or gay community. I feel like a commodity, a frozen asset. Both communities seem to be so busy with trying to use what tie I have to them for their own purpose that neither want to look at me as a person whose African-American heritage and lgbt sensibility mingle together to create something rich and unique which would be an asset to both communities.

I am useful to the LGBT community because I am gay. I am useful to the African-American community because I am a black man. But I don't seem to be useful to either community as a gay black man.

There are some of us who cannot separate being black and being gay into two separate camps because we encompass both identities.

But the problem is that neither community seems to get that point.

 
 
 
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12:35 PM on 04/13/2010
IGN, Huffpo wouldn't allow me to respond to your post below so I'm responding here.
Part 1 of 3
I swear, this was like reading abstract poetry with no meaning. Okaaaay… here we go.
First, you stated: “my guess is you don't want equal rights, you want encouragementâ€
I won’t even dignify that with a response. If that’s what you “honestly†think, then I would hope that you’re bold enough to tell that to Gay & Lesbian couples who aren’t able to marry with full rights as heterosexuals are afforded; or maybe to our Gay & Lesbian soldiers that can’t serve openly without fear of being discharged that their quest for equality REALLY isn’t about rights, but rather; “a pat on the back and a smileâ€â€¦
Good luck with that one.
“Then you said; Battling bigotry is noble, but you would have to have a vigilance I have not seen from any supporting your causeâ€
Looks like you either don’t get out much or know a whole lot about the GLBTQ community then. I can’t even begin to tell you the amount of GLBTQ and GLBTQ supporting organizations there are out there, and to state that because you haven’t “seen†(nor taken the time to look) for those organizations that are on the front lines fighting for equality shows your level of knowledge in how vast GLBTQ people are making headway to make equality happen as a community abroad. Who said that bigotry was going to automatically “go away†with
12:47 PM on 04/13/2010
Part 2 of 3
equality?
Not to sound cynical here; but it leaves to question what about this topic gave you the impression the GLBTQ community would remotely “think†that equality would equal the end of the struggle the GLBTQ community or for civil rights as a whole?
Has this happened yet in the Black community????
Then you said, “If what you are fighting for is for someone else's validation I think you are effacing your relationship and the institution you claim you wish to uphold.â€
I almost took that comment as insulting because I know you know good and well the GLBTQ community is not spending, time, resources, money, and manpower fighting for equality simply for someone to “validate†who they already are. If that is the case then by using your logic; what we as Black people fought for was merely “validation†too because theoretically our survival wasn’t dependant upon White people alone. We didn’t have ( and really wasn’t necessary to be quite frank) to interact with Whites in order to live our daily lives. We knew that we were NO DIFFERENT than anyone else, fought and even died so that others could live free in equality as anyone else. This is what the GLBTQ community is fighting for right now.
If the fight for equality is merely about obtaining “validationâ€, you just insulted the entire Civil Rights movement.
12:59 PM on 04/13/2010
Part 3 of 3
Then in response to your “answer†that you gave to me: I totally failed to see the point you were trying to make.
This discussion is NOT about “sexuality†in physical form, this is about the Black & Gay communities meeting on common ground in support of equality for all people regardless of color, race, and/or sexual preference or orientation. One thing that many heterosexuals who aren’t in the full knowledge of the GLBTQ community tend to do is focus ENTIRELY on just the “sexual†aspect of GLBTQ people alone, and not the person or persona in their totality. GLBTQ people do not live, breathe, walk, talk, and think sex every moment of their lives, nor is it the ONLY part of their persona in which they live. HOWEVER, its amazing that BECAUSE of their orientation, they are denied the rights heterosexuals have SIMPLY because they are just that - Heterosexual. Your “response†dealt with whether or not people accept themselves, and I’m discussing the nature of the Black & Gay communities recognizing that equality is important to BOTH communities and therefore should create an alliance of unstoppable force that could and would transform civil rights in a whole new way.
Step out of the bedroom for a moment and into the reality of the discussion. This isn’t about “knowing yourselfâ€, this is about recognizing that GLBTQ people want nothing but the same rights, protections, and responsibilities as anyone else… No more, no less.
03:36 PM on 04/10/2010
I was checking back to see if there were any responses. I realize some questions have been asked such as
"Where is this "homophobia" of black people?", "Who are these so called, "victims" of homophobia?", & "To what degree is it present within the Black Community?".
Although I'm just doing some basic reading, I came across an interesting video with excepts of educators and professors from some of the nations top HBCUS to discuss the levels of Homophobia within the Black Community, the causes and reasons for it, and the effects it has on other GLBTQ POC. Hope this provides but just a small amount of insight.
http://vimeo.com/10592999
08:37 PM on 04/10/2010
For some reason u want to prove Black people are more homophopic than whites. Black people are not different from whites when it comes to homoohobia. I went to a majority white college and the homophobia displayed by white people was sickening. I work with 99% of whites and they are not even ashamed to display their hate of gays. What is your goal/point?
Unfortunately, Black people take on the bad habits of the larger white society.
Stop perpetuating some sort of gay vs black hate. Why don't u go fight the Mormons, Catholics, and white evangelicals who openly dispise gays?
01:21 AM on 04/11/2010
Tanya, Tanya, Tanya. LOL! I'm not trying to "prove" anything. What I AM doing is contributing in a discussion of a topic that was written by a HuffPost Blogger. Am I aware there other races that are homophobic as well? Yes! (Secondly, did you really need to ask that question?)
What I find interesting (but not surprising) in most cases when there’s discussion of issues that doesn’t present a “favorable†view of Black people, there’s a heightened sense of sensitivity and denial that comes about (which was also expressed in the link I provided above). In EVERY comment that you and others made, one continued phrase the keeps coming about is that the motivation or origination of homophobia began, is owed, and manifested by Whites only. The link I provided to you PROVED that is simply not the case. Moreso, the piece I showed didn’t even have a white person present, so to pass the notion that homophobia is somehow only “spawned†by Whites, shows evasion of ownership and responsibility of what WE have inflicted upon OUR OWN PEOPLE.
Call it what you want, but I’m gonna’ call it “Keepin’ it REAL†(something we fail to do when critical topics needs to be discussed amongst us). I don’t need to fight against Mormons and Catholics because I’m not around them. I have a black community right here amongst ME that "I" need to reach and until we can GET HONEST, we can’t move forward.
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02:11 PM on 04/11/2010
What is your take on a certain "foreign" influence or a particular item for focus in an aspect of this entire matter. I note that it tends to stay under the table.
05:43 PM on 04/11/2010
Iehi, If you have another angle to the discussion, please let it be known. Since I'm not going "speculate" what you are referring to, just go ahead and bring it out. No need to talk vaguely if you think there's other "aspects" to the discussion that needs to be brought up to somehow prove additional points...
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Alvin McEwen
08:16 PM on 04/09/2010
Regardless of what's been said, the saddest thing of this discussion is how some comments on this board have tried to psychologically dissect the black and gay identities.

The piece was about the struggle of being an lgbt of color in communities which seem to fight against each other so much that they don't acknowledge us. The comments prove my point BETTER than my piece.

Particularly those who ruminated over how blacks faced segregation and dehumanization. It amazes me that throughout all of their intellectual bleatings that none of them took into account that every point they make about the sufferings of the black community is rendered moot by the simple fact that many of those African-Americans who suffered were also lgbt.

And that is part of the point, unfortunately. As long as they deal with us on "their terms," some in the black community are okay with lgbts of color. However, when we challenge their paradigm of what is black culture, they get scared. its certainly food for thought.
08:37 PM on 04/09/2010
I am not sure what u want Black people to do for Black gays. Black people live in suburbs and in the cities. Some of us live in mostly white neighborhoods some in mostly Black. Black people are not of the same ideologies. Black people don't all go to the "Black Church." You do understand that Black people go to all different denominations of churches?
You do understand that Black people don't have full equality in the United States? You seem to only want to understand certain realities and deny others.
Maybe you and pride and soul can come up with a coherent agenda u want the NAACP to present to its members. However, don't forget not all Blacks think the NAACP is relevant.
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09:08 PM on 04/09/2010
this is about personal responsibility rending the struggle for black equality obsolete or any attempt at minimizing or marginalizing the sacrifices that should be the backbone of any civil rights discussion just succeeds bolstering the status quo, which I hope you don't think is a winning proposition.

I get it, blacks vs gays is bad for business. my problem is with people that act as if what they are doing is constructive and then implicate the truth on behalf of fallacy or worse yet conjecture. you yourself are guilty of oversimplification if not false dichotomy.

then, there is where the rubber hits the road. not all the people blogging believe in what they are typing as seen in the lack of affirmative discourse and appropriation. This leaves me thinking that many just have a point to prove at the cost of the integrity of whatever aspect of black culture we are dumping on. I hope you don't expect me to just let you do it in the name of some far fetched attempt at unanimity.
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06:10 PM on 04/09/2010
what are gay people?
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06:23 PM on 04/09/2010
they are not a nation of people, they don't come from anywhere so there is no lineage, where then does homogeny come from? is it just congregation?
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06:50 PM on 04/09/2010
if everyone whose favorite food was McDonalds fries made an attempt to converge on the status quo their estate would be precipitously deemed fallacy because of the overt nature of incongruence.
01:27 PM on 04/09/2010
"kevinchi" here Alvin, and what have you unleashed, lol?

I do want to address the religious factor for the time being.

If the anti-gay black churches (and not every black church is anti-gay) want to be a player in the political process then they need to be criticized proportionately when they publically advocate those positions.

Just as the Mormon, Catholic, and evangelical churches are criticized.

That an anti-gay church happens to also be a "black church" does not give it a pass.
02:17 PM on 04/09/2010
Alvin DID unleash a monster here didn't he, LOL! That's good because its high time this "monster" showed his head and we as Black people acknowledge its presence and destroy it. I absolutely agree with diogenes' comment. If the "Black church" makes the conscious decision to place itself in the political area, then it is subject to all the criticisms and questioning that comes with it.
One thing the some people within Black community fail to understand (and I'm partly expanding on what Alvin kind of touched on earlier) is that our people at times unconsciously place GLBTQ people of color into a position where they have to pledge their allegiance to one entity while sacrificing the other in order to gain the community‘s acceptance. Either you embrace your “blackness†or your sexuality; but you cannot do both. This feeds into the levels of homophobia that runs rampant in our community as well as the “don’t tell, don’t discuss†attitude many Blacks adopt when dealing with issues pertaining to sexuality as a whole.
Even now, instead of getting to the core discussion of the community at large expanding our minds to embrace the idea of equality for our GLBTQ people (which INCLUDES people of color as well), it appears that cannot discussed candidly unless we re-acknowledge: [racism, violence, unemployment, etc., etc, etc,] first, then if the community has time COULD possibly “entertain†a few GLBTQ issues in at their convenience (provided they don’t step “out of lineâ€).
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02:54 PM on 04/09/2010
you toss around the term community to lightly, community this community that, what have you brought to the community. better question what makes up the community. better yet, what are the priorities of the communities you address and communities in general


justice
01:18 PM on 04/09/2010
the truth is BOTH communities want to be FREE from "MONEYS" corporate/social/political control
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lorsavus
09:02 AM on 04/09/2010
This is indeed a tiresome subject; yet again here is another post about the so-called battle. Enough, already.
Black people are not natural allies of the gay rights movement, stating it ad nauseum does not make it so.. We will not be shamed, harassed or belittled because of our religion, faith or differing views from gay people. Name calling...."homophobe, bigot."..contempt for our churches (baby jeebus), or insults to our intelligence will not force us to take up the cause for gay rights and suddenly decide that the most important thing in our lives is to overturn DODT and DOMA. We will choose our own causes and fight our battles. It is our right.
09:26 AM on 04/09/2010
They pretend we are alike in our causes but stop short in helping Black people obtain their true civil rights.
Why they get Black gay people to try to shame and harrass Black people seems silly. It is like republicans putting up Michael Steele as a Black person we should accept.
11:13 AM on 04/09/2010
"They pretend we are alike in our causes but stop short in helping Black people obtain their true civil rights."

@ Tanya: Black people (to my knowledge) have organizations and avenues to have any additional issues addressed that pertains to "civil rights" that have yet to be conquered. To my knowledge there but a few minor issues (if you want to categorize it into the civil rights tent) that could be addressed. If its a major issue to you, become engaged, make some noise, allow your voice to be heard. Evidentially if these "issues" aren't addressed to the level your liking, then you may want to take a step back to see if its pertinent to the progression of our people as a whole. We as a people have largely fought to obtain equality under the law that the GLBTQ community has yet to achieve. It would be logical to create allies in this community and encourage those who share commonalities within the multi-faceted layers of discrimination both communities posses. The history and struggles are unparallel (a point that has been proven time and time again), although the effects of discrimination hold common bonds.
Resistance to the obvious in the attempt to uphold a “our struggle wasn’t the same†mindset produces nothing substantial for the Black Community to build on.
So, what can we get gather from this?
10:18 AM on 04/09/2010
^^ "Black people are not natural allies of the gay rights movement, stating it ad nauseum does not make it so. We will not be shamed, harassed or belittled because of our religion, faith or differing views from gay people."

Yet we have GLBTQ people of color who live, suffer, and have even died due to the oppressive nature this country's stance anti-gay ideology has embraced while our people watch in nonchalance. We literally turn a blind eye to Black victims of anti-gay hostility and violence because some adopt the notion their demise was somehow justified because they were “living in sinâ€. If we as a people who’ve long since adopted the mindset of: “Doing unto others as we would we have them do unto usâ€, it’s very telling what we as a race must think of OURSELVES when engaging in topics like this with lackluster approach and apathy towards a resolution. What confuses me is when people who hold similar above views as a means to justify the unwillingness of supporting the equality of THEIR OWN PEOPLE; why they then would “question†those who don’t understand the logic in behind their refusal to live by the quote I just mentioned, yet claim that the religion (or doctrine) they espouse is grounded on the very same principle.
Yes, you have the right to choose your battles. How troubling it is that because of hostility and fear many of the choices perpetuates the division and strife amongst ourselves.
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11:09 AM on 04/09/2010
Too many Black people of all kinds are victims of violence. Some for just being on the wrong corner at the wrong time. Black people are subject to police violence at any time, and the police don't stop to ask what your preference is. On any issue. Violence against and amongst Black people is an issue we are trying to confront on so many levels. Violence against children, violence against women and in general, those who are least capable of defense. Violence against the elderly.

Were those people who were brutally murdered in NOLA after Katrina, were they gay? Were they shot down in a manner that would constitute a war crime because they were gay? No, they were Black and that was enough.

It is not about choosing battles. You need to get past all of that. It is about identifying a problem that affects an entire community for their race alone.
TryToBeFlexible
MENSA, Gay, Atheist, Believer in justice
08:29 AM on 04/09/2010
Gays and Blacks should be natural allies in their respective struggles. It is time to stop allow the Republicans to turn us all against each other. You know, divide and conquer.

All groups that suffer from oppression must stand together against the common oppressor. The common oppressor is the Republican party, owned by the oligarchy, and voted in by the hate filled deluded retrogressive haters, who respond so willingly to the constant barrage of hate propaganda.
10:58 PM on 04/08/2010
There's something I realized a while back when thinking of this misleading "black vs gay tournament of civil rights."

It isn't that we are like you. It isn't that gays are like blacks. It isn't that we have suffered the same, we haven't. Every groups struggle is different, and every person's struggle is different. That isn't the point.

The point is that they are the same. The racists who fought to deny your rights decades ago are just like the homophobes that now fight to deny ours. They used religion then, saying god put the different races on different continents for a reason, and that as the decendants of Cain, blacks were inferior. They use religion now, using outdated Leviticus passages to keep others from being recognized as good-meaning human beings. They used fear then, saying, "keep our women safe." They use fear now, saying, "keep our children safe." They used a sense of tradition then, saying the country on their way of life was threatened if they shared their schools, sat beside you on the bus. They use tradition now, saying that merely sharing a legal institution of marriage with us cheapens their own.

We should not be allies because our struggles or are suffering are the same. We should be allies because our enemies are the same.
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11:10 PM on 04/08/2010
welcome to the struggle
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11:24 PM on 04/08/2010
spead the word: Due process, more specifically substantive due process.

gay people are people
marriage is a national "liberty"
said liberty does not undermine interests of the state

blacks are people
voting is a national liberty
said liberty does not undermine interests of the state
08:19 PM on 04/08/2010
Washington DC approved gay marriage. However, the people in DC are taxed but have no representation in congress.
Please let me know what the LGBT groups are doing about this CIVIL RIGHTS issue. You know the CIVIL RIGHTS gay groups claim to want for EVERYONE.
I am also waiting for the baggers to respond because they are screaming about rights just as insanely as the gay groups.
08:33 PM on 04/08/2010
You speak as though you are a tea party member.
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08:35 PM on 04/08/2010
how so?
08:46 PM on 04/08/2010
Can u answer the question? It is essential to the argument this man makes. Let me be more specific. Gay groups want Black groups like the NAACP to care about gay rights. However, I don't see gay groups going out of their way to help DC residents obtain fair representation.
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Alvin McEwen
09:09 PM on 04/08/2010
Actually, gay marriage was approved in DC with a LOT of support from the black community - http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=121506734
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09:13 PM on 04/08/2010
so what does she win?
09:18 PM on 04/08/2010
You are avoiding my question or not understanding it. For Black support of gay marriage in DC, what exactly are gay groups doing to get representation in the congress for DC residents?
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NoSandwiches
08:07 PM on 04/08/2010
What it has to come down to is this:
We are progressives.
That means we value empathy and fairness.
Everyone doesn't have to get out there and participate--but they ought not to obstruct the cause of seeking equal rights for all.
09:20 AM on 04/09/2010
Nice "No Sandwiches".........Short and sweet

To
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Kevin Atlanta
Active Citizen 54
07:46 PM on 04/08/2010
Mr McEwen I'm a fan of your work and blog for years now. The truth is often difficult for people to hear or grasp. We are not free until all of us are free and the respect of the individual becomes a celebration of the differences.
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JamesSin
05:55 PM on 04/08/2010
The problem with the black community in America is that it is too religious. Religion correlates very highly with homophobia, also with illiteracy. Make the black community wealthier and less religious, and it will be less homophobic. Everybody's happy!
07:57 PM on 04/08/2010
Insulting and stereotyping an entire community of people is always a good way to win them over.
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FearlessFreep
I'm actually a radical leftist
10:36 PM on 04/08/2010
Especially when they're the gay community.
10:46 PM on 04/08/2010
Is saying black people are religious insulting them?
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11:58 PM on 04/08/2010
The problem with the Black community is the legal segregation it has been subject to. The problem with the Black community is the economic violence that has been practiced against for centuries. The church has been the bastion even when they have fire bombed our churches, murdering Black people in the process. Literacy is a high value in the Black community. Only racists insist otherwise.
Wealth, in an of itself, is no virtue. No community in America is wealthy in the way that Black communities are because no one has fought harder for its right to be recognized as human beings and citizens of this country as Black Americans have.

Note that not many Black people are of the Catholic faith. I can assure you that we would never tolerate Black children being subjected to that kind of serial abuse.
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JamesSin
05:48 AM on 04/09/2010
Yes yes yes, I know all that - because I went to school! Want to make a guess as to how many young African-American children have heard of W.E.B Dubois, Nelson Mandela, Stokely Carmichael and Huey Newton. Drop the sistah souljah routine and be real with me for a second.

Lots of poor immigrants come to America. Indians (yours truly included), Chinese, Koreans and Hispanics . They were also subject to legal discrimination and didn't even have the safety in numbers that the black community offered. And yet, one generation on their kids are much better off than their parents. Why? Literacy!!

I don't know whether literacy is prized or not in the black community. I'm not a member. But I do know that it isn't prevalent. Because I learned statistics and averages.
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lynjs
Take each day as it comes. Tomorrow isn't promise
05:43 PM on 04/08/2010
My hypothesis about the entire issue is that both groups are so staunch in their views, not to mention fearful of what they don't know about, is that they don't understand that they both need each other.

Put it this way, if you've ever been slighted because of skin color, religion, gender or sexual orientation, disability, etc., it is discrimination. There is no other word for it. It is what Dr. King, John Lewis, Medgar Evers fought against with the help of Bayard Rustin. Look him up. You might be surprised.

Get over your pettiness people and let's come together. The nastiness of the political climate alone should be enough to make folk want to leave their biases at the door and do what is right.

And for everyone's information, I'm a straight gal of color who isn't threatened by those that are gay.

Put it this way once again, if it isn't threatening my food, clothing, housing, transportation, healthcare and education I don't have a problem with it.

Just get together people.
07:45 PM on 04/08/2010
^^ Great comment! After reading a few of the responses it's clear that for "some" this issue will be nothing more than "My people/struggle/oppression was harsher than yours, so deal with it." This yearning to be “right†along with the incessant cries of "racism" seems to be the only point of reference many will cling to as a means to justify the unwillingness or the inability to see the broader scope of equality for all people within this day and time.
Even sadder is that while trying to maintain the “racism trumps _(insert word here)_†argument is that repetitiously debating this one point of view hinders the prospect of equality for all in future generations. We CANNOT change the past, although we CAN acknowledge AND learn from it.
However, the REFUSAL to reinvest the seed of equality that’s been planted from prior struggles because certain events that preceded hasn’t been “recognized†to a desired level of satisfaction sends a resounding message that speaks more from a position of pomposity rather than inclusion.
This is the reason [as I previously mentioned] I feel no other community or group of people can mediate between the two sides better than the Black GLBTQ community exclusively.
WE are the ones who can effectively communicate to the Black community “IF†we are willing to do so. Though ultimately we are caught between this war of both worlds, we cannot afford to continue to see ourselves in a state of perpetual victimization.
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lynjs
Take each day as it comes. Tomorrow isn't promise
09:10 PM on 04/11/2010
I agree whole heartedly. As a family friend stated yesterday in a conversation that to some degree some in the black community are still ignorant to the point of not wanting to be 'more.'

I don't mean more in the terms of material wealth, but doing right by people and helping each other out. I could also add in learning more about the world besides your own neighborhood. There is no excuse. There are libraries and the internet.

We don't want to do right by each other in the general sense let alone anything else. We don't even want to extend a hand to our lesbian and gay brothers and sisters in their struggle for equality which is petty.

We got this attitude that if we ignore something it will go away. Or 'my struggle is greater than yours" attitude as you stated. It hasn't worked for the myriad of problems that we have. It is like we don't never want to talk about it, like it is a shrub that needs pruning, but you just don't want to deal with.

I hope the black gays and lesbians can serve as a bridge between the black community as a whole and the larger gay and lesbian community in order to create a bond that will be felt in all social realms. One place the two groups as a whole could be a formidable together is at the voting box. But everyone has to work together first.
04:45 PM on 04/08/2010
I agree the argument is tiresome. The fact that blacks support gay equality (like marriage) less than whites is, I guess a fact. It seems to come from their strong use of religion and their churches as a power base for their struggle. Nothing wrong with that, because their struggle is legitimate. Gays cannot use religion and church as a power base since religion has for the most part been the basis for our inequality. The animosity that some gays feel towards the abuse they have suffered at the hands of religion understandably makes it hard to outreach to strong religious blacks even though our struggle is very similar. I will never forget the sorrow that I saw in the faces of some good religious blacks when I described my feelings that religion was the source of all the ugliness and negativity that has been directed at me and that I have suffered in my life. Thats the approach we must take. Describe the personal suffering we feel both to blacks and to good religious people. They are the ones who are approachable.
08:45 PM on 04/08/2010
"I will never forget the sorrow that I saw in the faces of some good religious blacks when I described my feelings that religion was the source of all the ugliness and negativity that has been directed at me and that I have suffered in my life."

I don't think this is a good approach. I'm not a gay man so I don't know what your experience was with religion, but the church isn't the place where I witnessed violence and bigotry. It was the place where I found peace from it.

I'm not going to defend religion, but I am suggesting that it would not be a winning argument for most religious people given they experience the church as a sanctuary.
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11:24 PM on 04/08/2010
They forget how the church in the Black community has provided sanctuary.