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Amanda Ernst Headshot

Dating By Text -- Sleep Texting

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I woke up Saturday morning with a strange feeling. Was I really texting with a guy last night, or was it a dream? A quick peek at my phone confirmed it: I had been texting in my sleep. Has this ever happened to you?

Of course, I know better than to say yes to late night invitations when I'm already asleep, but I have a problem completely ignoring them if they wake me up. Generally, the buzz of my phone will wake me up, I'll notice the text, and I'll respond in some way that will either be complete gibberish or will make clear that I am asleep ("too bad I've been asleep for the last hr"). Still, my text suitors frequently don't like taking "No, I'm asleep," as an answer. The result is some sort of weird back-and-forth that I sleepily fudge my way through. The conversation usually ends when I just fall back asleep mid-conversation -- if the guy doesn't get ballsy and decide to call me to make me really wake me up. That conversation usually starts with something like, "If you had just woken up and come over here when I first texted you, you'd have been here by now." My parents are so proud of me right now.

The next morning, I wake up utterly confused, kicking myself for responding at all. Recently, I've gotten better about ignoring texts that wake me up. But, it occurs to me that maybe I should just shut my phone off. This idea really bothers me, because I always want to be accessible in case something horrible happens to my family or friends in the middle of the night. Like this one time in college when the townhouse next to ours caught on fire and I was at my boyfriend's apartment. My roommate called to give me a heads up and let me know that everyone was okay. I need to leave my phone on at all times -- in case of fire.

But fire does not mean late night booty texts. And I'm starting to learn to put up or shut up -- meaning just ignoring said texts until the next morning unless I'm in the mood to wake up and go out. If I do ignore, I send this type of message the next morning: "You have to stop texting me while I'm asleep." And then, not surprisingly, I get this is reply: "You have to stop texting me before noon on Saturday and Sunday!!"

Maybe I just need to meet guys who have the same sleep schedule as me.

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