Past, Present... Future

Past, Present... Future
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I recently stumbled upon a past incarnation of myself. How? Since last year, I've been a volunteer and advocate for a neuro charity. It's given me, simultaneously, an incalculable feeling of strength and an overwhelming sense of work still to be done. Through it, I've rediscovered the idealistic, debate team captain teenager inside of me that didn't used to take no for an answer. (She's been on extended holiday leave!) Along with that feeling, other old ideas have surfaced. Things that seem so easy to start to change for the better, but remain the same. Chief amongst them for today's post is how older people are to a greater and greater extent, in my view, devalued by wider society. It's like nobody expects to one day be just that... themselves, but older. Old, in fact.

Volunteering has also shone a glaring light on another facet of life. Something I'd forgotten about because I was slap bang in the eye of it's sneaky storm. Apathy. The uphill battle to engage people on things that don't "apply" to them. To be honest, it's a persistent source of aggravation to me. In return, I'm sure I've become a persistent source of aggravation to the people I love wittering on about the topic!

Why should apathy be surprising, though? I'm not naïve enough to think that everybody has space in their life for yet another cause to be passionate about. It's also true that everybody has their 'something' and, besides, real passion takes time and motivation. Compassion, though, surely takes only a fraction of that time?

So, as I often do, I take mental refuge in "Impossible World." A place in a corner of my mind where fantastical solutions, cures and perfect lives collide. Good news! On a recent trip there I discovered the antidote to apathy... I call them "Humanity Vaccinations." Yes, they'd be a painless, low dose, once-off injection of a myriad of human pain, suffering, inevitability... reality!

It would pinch, but it wouldn't hurt. Everyone would be given a lollipop directly afterwards and go about their lives just as before. The net effect being that every one of us, when presented with someone else's "real life" would experience a subtle pang, triggering a mini memory. Compassion promoted, all we need do then is to let the glory wheel of human momentum take over... because there are just so many achievable ways to improve the real world, if only we would all plug in.

A version of one of these great, achievable ideas recently made my Facebook feed. A nursing home in the U.S. was featured as it was also the location for a montessori. The short video featured the kids and adults interacting, sometimes very sweetly sometimes a little more awkwardly but always, crucially, interacting.

I've seen some online campaigns to "integrate" older people into society that have been pretty patronizing. Baby-ifying them, depicting their interactions with new technologies as "cute," even asking them to rap on cue! To my mind, this defeats the purpose and setting a disrespectful precedent.

Surely, young and old living alongside each other is just good quid pro quo? In the case of this montessori/nursing home, it made good fiscal and business sense. What struck me as another inherent value was the massive societal and practical benefits that a broader adoption of a similar model could achieve.

Older and younger people have a lot to gain from each other. Kids can rely on accumulated wisdom, lessons learned and a more relaxed view of the world, now that the child rearing and mortgage repayment days have been survived! In this glorious transaction too, older people get a high dose of life, vitality, connectedness, enthusiasm, a renewed feeling of usefulness and, no doubt, a few headaches!

A few years ago, I was producing an episode of The Secret Millionaire. One of our episodes was based in an area that had every social challenge on the roster: massive unemployment, drug problems, homelessness, absenteeism from school, gang violence and high suicide rates. At its core was a community centre run by a small group of local people. What had started as a voluntary movement had attracted some funding (when Ireland was temporarily filthy rich) and though struggling financially, the centre stayed open.

At the physical core of this centre, though, was the real inspiration. Something I'd never before seen; so simple and so gorgeous an idea. There was a creche that the centre ran and, at playtime, the kids would spill out onto a playground in a courtyard. Around that courtyard? Apartments for the community's elderly. We were filming in summertime. The older people had pulled out their deck chairs with a cool drink and the kids swarmed around weaving about the chairs having the time of their lives. I'm desperately aware of how cheesy this sounds but, you see, I saw it. It happened and it was brilliant.

I used to joke, in university, that once we hit 60, my group of friends should all move in together, merging families and creating a little idyll of emotional support and company on tap after the kids moved on! (As they all know, I still harbor that hope!)

Increasingly this idea seems to play well to our collective mental, physical and emotional health. The idea of neuroplasticity has surged forth in recent years. The contention that the brain is plastic, responsive to change and trainable. It's proponents cite engagement, challenge and ongoing learning as safeguards against Alzheimers and other age related conditions. Is there a case then to be made for children benefiting from more traditional "play" models that older generations could impart, away from devices and digital stimulation? Could that go some way to addressing "modern" children's behavioral issues?

Reading this post, you could be forgiven for thinking I've got my rose-colored specs taped on. I promise you though, I'm not blind to the potential challenges. I recently started the process of a befriending service to the elderly. In an era where we are less trusting on the back of some pretty heartbreaking tales of abuse, I was heartened to see the level of hoop-jumping involved before I was accepted as a volunteer. Everyone is entitled to be protected. This is a central governing principle at the core of piloting these new community models of my dreams.

Some older people, some kids... people, in general, can be challenging. My feeling though is time spent in other people's worlds moderates most behaviors. Adopting this idea of old and young side by side, like many of the kids involved, will come with teething problems but, handled correctly, before too long the gums will heel revealing the broad smiles from something shared -- a loving jab in the arm for humanity.

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec put it beautifully: "Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art."

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