THE BLOG

5 Things to Give Up to Be Happy

05/18/2012 07:58 am ET | Updated Jul 18, 2012

When we think about how to create more happiness, we typically look for things to achieve and add to our lives. However, sometimes the key to happiness is actually giving up certain perspectives and behaviors. Here are a few things to give up in order to become happier individuals.

Give up the habit of blaming. Blame is a scapegoat for taking responsibility of your own outcome. It is a lot easier to point the finger at someone or something else instead of looking within. Blame is not constructive. It does not help you or the other person -- nobody wins in the blame game. The amount of energy and stress it takes to blame just takes away from you moving forward and finding a solution.

Give up your need to impress. When you accept who you are, and you embrace your quirks, flaws, strengths and vulnerability, you get a lot more comfortable in your own skin. And when you're confident, you stop caring so much about what everyone thinks of you. You stop worrying if someone will like you or not, because deep down you know that the people who falsely judge you don't matter in your life.

Give up being a victim. The perspective that you are just the result of all external variables deflects responsibility for taking control over your own life. It is unfortunate that sometimes bad things happen to the best of people. Life can be unfair, unkind and unjust. However, being stuck in a victim mentality does not nurture your ability to move forward and onward.

Give up feeling entitled. Nobody owes you anything. Nobody. When you approach life with the perspective that you are owed things, it's likely that you will find yourself disappointed time and time again. When you are grateful for what you have, and see positive things as bonuses versus owed expectations, you will be surprisingly pleased.

Give up pretending. In a society where we are rewarded for perfection, we are constantly role playing. We try to show the world that we are flawless human beings in hopes that we will be liked and accepted. But the beauty of us lies in our vulnerability, our love, our deep, complex emotions... our humanness. When we embrace who we are and decide to be authentic instead of perfect, we open ourselves up to have true connection with others. There is no need to put on a show. There is no need to pretend to be something or someone that you are not. You are perfect the way you are.

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