"In one week American teenagers spend 31 hours watching TV, 17 hours listening to music, 3 hours watching movies, 4 hours reading magazines, 10 hours online. That's 10 hours and 45 minutes of media consumption a day." - Miss Representation
The media is beyond powerful. It shapes our perceptions of what is normal, what is acceptable and what should be sought after. What you see and hear influences you, whether you are aware of how powerful of an impact the media has or not.
The documentary Miss Representation discusses how females are portrayed in the media, and the negative consequences that this misrepresentation has on our society. Television shows, reality TV, movies, videogames ... there is a pervasive message that tells the world that the value in a woman is in her looks, her sexuality, her body and even her submission to men. One may think that watching a television show like "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" is harmless, but for many, it's not -- it shapes our perceptions.
I know, because a television show helped shaped mine. In my late teens and early twenties, there were only a few things that my life revolved around: boys, stilettos, clubbing, and "Sex and the City."
I grew up on "Sex in the City." I admired the women and could identify to some degree with each one of the main characters. I remember watching Samantha -- a successful, independent woman who had no emotional attachement to men -- and seeing her use men as playthings. I remember thinking to myself, "Wow, what a powerful woman. She wears designer clothes, has a successful business and treats men like toys. She never gets hurt and always seems to have it together." As a girl who grew up so desperately wanting to feel loved and accepted by a male figure, to me, having the freedom to not feel emotionally attached or disappointed by a man seemed like a strength. In a sense, Samantha's "empowerment" became an inspiration for me, and I saw her character as a role model.
This type of role model may work for some, but for a lost, vulnerable and insecure twenty-year-old ... not so much. I spent a good part of my twenties thinking empowerment came from looking perfect, being sexually attractive and always having the best outfit. But after multiple experiences with low self-esteem, attracting the wrong guys and never feeling good or pretty enough, I realized that my perception was all wrong. I'm not blaming Samantha's character as the cause of this. But if I was able to know what I know now, and tell my younger, confused self a message, I'd tell her this:
Your empowerment and self-worth is not created by fancy clothes, a perfect body or obsessing over physical beauty. It doesn't come from tearing other females down. It doesn't come from men. Your empowerment comes from your accomplishments, your contributions, your integrity, your values and how you love and care for others. Because the other stuff doesn't last. It can feel good for a moment, and sometimes a long moment, but eventually, it all fades. And you're left with nothing physical or superficial -- only with what you created within.
I believe that to change the way that the media influences society is to change the way we see, and therefore absorb, media. We need to have those important discussions -- with our children, our family, our peers and our friends -- and ask the question, "Why?" more. We need to learn to make it regular practice to dig deeper into why we believe in the things we do, and not take things at their face value.
We need to choose our role models carefully. We need to seek positive role models, period. When you ask a handful of adolescent girls who they aspire to be like, it's frightening how many will say "Kim Kardashian" or "Miley Cyrus." The media will continue to dish out cheap, sensationalized gossip on such celebrities. The solution isn't to ban the media, but to better equip youths (and even adults) with media literacy and a more informed lens on how they view it.
So how do we create change? As one person, what can you do?
I truly do believe in the quote, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."
Don't underestimate your power to influence. You exert influence every single day -- over your family, your friends, your peers, even perfect strangers. Your behavior and the image you put out to the world contributes to what the "norm" is. Have the courage to question the norms that the media and even all your friends are subscribing to. Ask yourself, is this way of thinking, this behavior serving me and my real, authentic empowerment? You can choose to accept the status-quo or you can use your values as your compass. That's a choice -- and a pretty powerful choice if you ask me.
Amy is a lifestyle and relationship columnist. To read more of her blogs, visit www.amyfabulous.com
Follow Amy Chan on Twitter: www.twitter.com/amyfabulous
Why has it become acceptable to say that kind of thing and to think of males as people who sleep around? The media is damaging for both men and women but we have formed so many ideals and standards and stereotypes from it. It will take a while to change people's mindset but the media is very powerful. With the right responsible writers and producers and material, I think there could be a change.
But, in Miley's defense, there are MUCH worse things in life than being a pot head. I know millionaire potheads who are successful, happy, productive, responsible, good parents, good society members, etc. A little mary jane never hurt anyone. Literally. Look it up - It has NEVER hurt ANYONE... For some people it helps them think clearer... Not everyone gets this effect, so maybe you don't understand. I didn't understand this for a very long time. Please try to dismiss people so flippantly if they admit to smoking pot.
Turn off the set and have a conversation, read a book, ride bikes together, something. That's alarming.
My daughter is almost 13 and I'd say she watches about three or four hours of TV a week. More if we get a movie or two. I think that's plenty.
Getting parents to spend more quality time with their kids is a different fight (equally important, but not the issue here). The point here is that the media is now all-pervasive in our culture and we need to make sure it's giving positive messages about both genders, so that our kids grow up as happy and healthy as possible.
It's about those in the position of power making choices. They make choices every singe day and they are constantly choosing to portray women in a disparaging way or with lesser authority then the men around them. We simply want them to make better choices that are equally as empowering to women as they are to men. I've become hyper-aware of this situation over the last few years, in part because of a few media-savvy friends, as well as my own intuition and eyeballs witnessing it. With Miss Representation coming about, it's heightened my awareness even more and I can give you MANY examples of poor choices that are happening right now.
These are MY OWN observations within the past week that have not been posted by other people... These are things in addition to all the things I've seen posted by other people. You can simply check out the Miss Representation page on facebook to see what people are posting.
http://www.aoltv.com/2011/08/11/tv-titles-battle-of-the-sexes/
LAST, but not least, I think sometimes when we talk about all the negative things out there, we forget to mention the good things. The positive female roles are extremely limited, but what's out there should be celebrated as the right direction. I think the most positive female role model on TV right now is "Suzie" from Verizon's current ads. She ROCKS. She gets stronger and stronger and stronger. She's smart and awesome...
Click here for Suzie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUcpCB7Wls8
Thanks for reading my rant!!! Was this a long enough post (or several posts since HuffPo has such a low word count?)? Can you tell I think about this stuff a lot?
One of the worst things I see is that there is only ONE acceptable role for women. There is no variety of types and personalities. They are all basically the same. Ultra feminine and there entire lives revolve around men. They have no positive female friends. It's all a male fantasy of the world as they would like it to be. And a non gender conformist person of either gender is portrayed as a monster to be laughed at, vilified, and assaulted. This hurts real people with bullying.
In TV short hair on a woman is usually synonymous with bad and hateful enemy (think V and every cop show). Good women ALL have long hair and are "feminine" We need to speak up loudly when we see these images of hate against any woman who is not subservient. And make them unacceptable.
I'd wager that most viewers of trash like the Kardashian shows, the (fill-in-the-blank-city) Wives shows, teen mom shows, mean girl shows, bridezilla shows, etc., are female. As long as girls and women tune it to watch other women act despicably toward each other, not much is going to change in the media.
As for the movies and fictional TV (more fictional than the reality shows, that is), it will take the efforts of women producers, writers and executives to affect real change.
Thanks for reading.
So as the author states, positive role models are important. Parents need to be positive role models to their kids, who will, in turn, become positive role models themselves.
At the same time, in articles like this one and so many others, women (at 20 as in this article, you are no longer a girl) women are being held hostage by the media and how women are portrayed by it. Now if people tried to censor the media in the name of protecting women, I would think women would be up in arms claiming they are strong and don't need protection.
As a husband and the father of a daughter, I would like to know how these 2 things are reconciled? Are women so impressionable that their self-esteem can be dictated by TV characters or are they strong enough to run Fortune 500 companies with their male comteporaries? I think it has to be one or the other, because I cannot fathom how it could be both.
Caveat to the baiters - I'm looking for some enlightenment, not a fight. If I'm an ignorant sexist, don't take the easy way out and call me one, explain why I'm one.
This is where your job comes in. No one suggested censorship. The author suggested that each of us question the "norms" on tv and help those we love to do the same. We are all influenced by media images, but if we have strong, positive influences at home, there is no need to worry. We are all impressionable, but with the right guidance and counter-examples, we all have the capacity to be strong as well. I'm sure you tell your daughter how proud you are of her, praise her accomplishments, and raise her to have enough self-worth to avoid comparing herself to tv characters. I hope you would do the same for a son.
This is not men vs. women. This is not a call for censorship. It's simply a reminder to make sure we continue to help our children separate media from reality.
My question was simply about the paradox of women being strong and capable, yet at the same time so susceptible to the influence of the media to the point where media gets the blame for all sorts of ills. If women are so strong, how is it the media has so much power over them?
Again, I'm basing this on the posts I see here, not on my own personal beliefs.
Thank you for reading and for your thought-provoking post. I probably should have made myself clear - I don't think it's only young females that are impressionable, but males too. Males are also presented with what it means to be a "man" eg. macho, powerful, rich, strong, etc. I just didn't get in to that in this particular article.
I think that both males and females need to understand media literacy - so that they possess a more critical eye and inquisitive mind. That way, they don't just take what they see for face value and emulate what is packaged as "cool" and glamorous.
Also, there are many cases of people who may not have it together in their personal life yet flourish professionally. So I do think that you can struggle with being impressionable and still have a thriving career.
Are these suppose to be the negative messages? It sounds a lot like the same message in women's empowerment. It kind of follows my theory that feminist discourage masculinity in boys while encouraging it in girls.
Giggity!
I don't think the media is hurting girls so much as our culture embracing self centered narcissism as a ideal. The empowerment argument needs moral caveats. Women who exploit sexual power to attract or manipulate along with those who treat the men around them poorly are presented as heroic figures. Young girls are attracted to these 'powerful women' who indulge their whims in a completely selfish manner. Such people were once seen as villains. I doubt these girls would appreciate the boys around them embracing these attitudes and treating them poorly.
I think we need a more holistic message than be accomplished, do whatever makes you feel or look good, and only care about yourself. Making great women and men takes a bit more ethical guidance than that.
The message that you can't trust anyone and your wealth, power, status, and material accomplishments are all that really matters leaves out love, family, and the dream of a healthy loving relationship with someone of the opposite sex. I mean to focus on hetero sexual because the gender tension has been out of control for a long time. It's hard enough for us to come together without turning life into a battle of what gender we think is getting more out of life.
Living the Sex and the City lifestyle might sound fun in the beginning, but when you start pushing 30s and are still single, that's when women realize that men don't want them around for long term because of their lifestyle choices. And when they realize they can't change their past, they'll start promoting the same agenda that put them in that situation to younger women, because they'd like to "empower" them.
I know I'll be setting parental controls on the television and the internet once I have children.
There's nothing wrong with our women here, either.
What you're doing, painting a bad picture of other countries and talking about other countries' women in a negative way is actually what the article is about. Misreprentation, misinterpretation, stereotyping, ignorance..
How ironic.
I have some foreign friends and they say that American women are last on their lists of places to search for a bride, and I certainly don't blame them. They visit America at least maybe twice a year, so I can't say that they have no clue on how the people here are like. So you can infer that I'm generalizing, but this view of American women is held by almost every other country. I remember when I went for a business trip to Spain, I used to get jokes on whether or not if I actually went there for the women.
Since you're so eager to defend American culture (and women), why don't you tell me what America's culture is all about, if not identical to the Sex and the City/Jersey Shore axiom. Tell me why a man should not cross off American women on his list, despite alarming divorce rates and rampant STDs. It's obvious that from those two statistics alone that American women really don't know what they want.