photo by Cecil Vedemil
Do you ever feel like more is going wrong than right? Like you take one step forward and two steps back?
You try to be a positive, grateful person, and you succeed sometimes. But just when you think you've got it all buttoned up, a thread unravels and you're suddenly standing in your emotional underwear.
A pity party ensues.
The problem.
Zig Ziglar used to say, "The problem with pity parties is very few people come, and those who do, don't bring presents."
Although... I personally don't invite people to my pity parties. I retreat and isolate. I prefer a pity party of one.
I was throwing a private pity party during my prayer time earlier this week. Each complaint could have started with, "Woe is me..." (if I lived in 12th century England).
I am cognizant of what I should do- count my blessings, meditate, be positive, buck up, buckle down, figure it out, move on. But sometimes I'm not mentally strong enough to reason my way through.
Sometimes, I simply feel like I'm being served a shit sandwich.
The ironic thing about a shit sandwich is this:
When I get served one, I can easily look for sludge in other places too. In my appearance, my work, my finances, my family, my faith, my obligations. I find failures, disappointments and weaknesses everywhere. Then I feel I'm being served additional shit sandwiches without ever placing an order.
This is the cycle of self-pity. "Woe is me. I have been served one too many shit sandwiches."
This week, as I snacked on my pity sandwich and drank my coffee by the Christmas tree, an inner light came on:
"What if I stopped obsessing over my own stuff and prayed for someone else's? What if I reconnected with a few people I've been quasi-ignoring lately due to my self-absorption? What if I honestly inquired about their lives and asked, 'How can I pray for you?'"
I sat my sandwich aside and stood up from my chair. I chased my husband as he headed out the door into the dark morning. I said, "Hey wait. Is there something I can pray about for you?"
"Yes," he answered immediately and shared his struggle.
He too, had been eating a shit sandwich.
The shift.
Divine intervention had the following quote delivered to my inbox the same day:
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle."
(I read it like this: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is eating some sort of shit sandwich.")
I want to add something to the original (politically correct) quote, something Jesus made clear to me by the Christmas tree...
These great battles are not being fought here. Rather they are being fought in the spiritual realm and heavenly places -- my great battles, your great battles, and the great battles of everyone we meet. The battles are not between me and you and him and her and us and them (although we slip into thinking so).
These battles are bigger than and beyond us.
What we must realize is this:
We are not our battles (aka our shit sandwiches).
The solution.
We cannot let our battles send us into a self-absorbed cycle that isolates and disconnects us from other people and God. Rather than get caught in a sequence of self-pity when our battles rage, let's move our focus off high (self) center and onto another person.
We punch pity in its pathetic gut when we look up and out.
We realize God's power (and our own) as we pray. Yes, there is power in praying over our sandwiches, but more importantly, there is awesome power unleashed when we pray for one another.
If you have been hyper focused on your own battles and shit sandwiches, connect with another person right now and ask how you can pray for him or for her.
Then do it. I mean really pray. Nothing fancy, just from your heart.
You'll be amazed how powerfully God will shift the battles in both of your lives.
We're stronger together. Leave a comment and let us know that you're taking this powerful step in kicking self-pity to the curb. You can also get on our list where we're learning to follow Jesus with no label but Love.
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