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Amy Ephron

Amy Ephron

Posted: July 6, 2009 02:41 PM

A Higher Calling


I predict there's another shoe that's going to drop (not sure where she bought this one, but it's coming).

Everything about Sarah Palin has been stunning and spectacular since John McCain announced her as his running mate -- to the "surprise" announcement that she was resigning, followed by the spectacular announcement by her attorney Thomas Van Flein, (full-text of legal letter posted by Sarah Palin on her Twitter account), that he was planning to explore immediate legal action against bloggers, specifically Shannyn Moore, who on HuffPo wrote that "for months the rumors have been swirling about a Federal Investigation." (Hey, Van Flein, did you miss the word "rumors"?) The Governor of the Great State of Alaska gets the Second Amendment, for sure, but maybe she was between schools when they taught the "First" one.

Sarah Palin brings a lot of this on herself, though. She's secretive and she plays by her own rules. She fuels the rumors. Even when she was in public office, she didn't think that her business was our business. (I think I speak for all women in America and their gynecologists when I say that none of us were allowed to fly during our last month of pregnancy, certainly not while we were in labor!)

But she got me this time. Or as she would say, "Gotcha!" I watched her speech four times because I think there were clues in it, and contrary to other reports, I feel that there was nothing "rambling" about it, that it was carefully worded and constructed. And I'm now following her on Twitter because I want to "stay tuned." (Added bonus, I also discovered from Sarah Palin's twitter account that Karl Rove is, also, on Twitter. Who knew?)

But let's be serious here for a minute, the Great State of Alaska is about speculation, it was founded on speculation. Main Street, Anchorage is full of Joe Speculators. People who thought if they just dug deep enough below the ice, they'd discover black gold.

So, here are the clues from her announcement (note to Sarah Palin's lawyer, I'm paraphrasing here):

  • "Some will question the timing of this but the meaning of it will become clear," sounding like the Magic Eight Ball or some version of a Zen Christian (if that's not an oxymoron).
  • "Facing500,000 in personal legal fees defending 'frivolous ethics violations'..."
  • "I asked my family and I got all yeses and one, 'Hell, yeah.'"
  • "It's about country..."

Here's the speculation:

Another shoe is going to drop -- another scandal is about to be revealed. Possible sources: the Levi Johnston tell-all book that he's currently shopping, something to the "rumors about the FBI investigation" even though the local FBI agent and her lawyer are denying it (other famous denials come to mind). Maybe it's like a bad "telephone game" and it's not the FBI? Isn't that house-building thing one of the things that got Ted Stevens in trouble? Or, that there might be a personal scandal brewing for her or for Todd on the horizon.

An enormous opportunity with the pending publication of her book) for her to solve their "personal debt" brought on by "frivolous law suits for ethics violations." (An old saying of rock impresario Bill Graham comes to mind, not to be confused with the televangelist, "It's not the money, it's the money.")

And even though, there's no law preventing an elected official from collecting honorariums for speaking fees, there could be some ethics questions raised about the private interest groups she contracts to speak for. And, now, the window would be wide open.
I feel an "athletic shoe" endorsement somewhere in the works -- maybe that's why she challenged Obama to a run.

She is planning to run for President and Alaska's geographic location makes it difficult to campaign in the lower 49 states (practically impossible to, by the way, while "ethically" holding on to your day job).

She's planning to start a new political party.

She's planning to start a new religion and take the frock.

She's planning to host a new reality show called, "So, You Think You Can Be a Televangelist!"

And, then, the saddest possibility of all. That it was just too tough. That she couldn't take it any more. And she quit. (She has a pattern of it, no question about it -- look at the number of schools she attended.) But, if this last turns out to be true, and her "higher calling" is her family, I think I speak for many women in America: I'd hoped she was made of sterner stuff.