I just want one of them, Hillary, Silda, to stand on the steps of the house, the White House, the Governor's Mansion and stamp their foot and say, "And another thing, I'm keeping the house."
Why do they show up? Why did Silda Spitzer appear at her husband's side at his press conference today? The picture in the New York Times' is so telling, so sad, so perfectly humiliating. And you just want to ask, why? Why do political wives -- especially when they seemingly have no political aspirations of their own, it's not like Mrs. Spitzer is going to run for office -- show up for their husbands when their husbands have behaved so badly?
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Are you kidding? Why? You must be joking. Do you really think these women who stand behind their powerful but flawed husbands are any less flawed? Why, because they are women?
I basically agree with the point of your article, as a man, I would hope that I had the decency to
to go out, and face the music by myself. No one else, was involved in the stupid decision.
Maybe Silda Spitzer is smart enough and sophisticated enough to realize that , at the most basic biological level, the whole point of being an alpha male is having a selection of mates; and that it is therefore totally unrealistic to expect monogamy from such a husband. Any woman who marries a Clinton or a Spitzer has to be naive to not accept the fact that infidelity comes with the territory.
I utterly disagree with your post. I will grant that biology has a bit of influence here, but Mr. Spitzer
is not a lab rat, and his intelligence and superego, should give him a little more control over
his zipper. P.S. I consider myself and alpha male.
My heart goes out to Mrs. Spitzer, her face told the story, she is a lovely woman who looked
ravaged standing there. She showed great class and character in being there.
Perhaps she did it for her 3 daughters, and no one should fault her for that.
I have often asked the question, why do all these male candidates running for any political office,
have to have their wives standing next to them? If they are telling us they are "leaders," then why
do they have to have a "wife" standing next to them? Why is she there?
Is she going to have to clean up after him, if he throws up?
Is she going to have to comfort him, if he starts to cry?
He's supposed to be a "leader" - then stand up there alone - and if he doesn't have a "wife,"
does the guy bring him "mommy?"
Female candidates often stand alone - showing they are on their own - maybe it's time men
stood up on their own two feet, and stopped having women there to prop them up.
I think that any wife whose husband is in office should, purely as a precaution, have a life size cardboard stand-up made of herself.....just in case. Since the wives never actually say anything at these 'events', but stand there witha defeated, hangdog look, very few people would notice the difference.
They have CHILDREN! After the horror of seeing this stuff in public, and now, day in and day out, a mother doesn't want to tell her teen aged daughters, ages 14-19, that she hates their father and that she's leaving him (or even worse, forcing him out of their home/lives)
His career is wrecked, and the family relations are seriously injured; she surely doesn't want to make things worse for the girls.
So whadda you think, Silda was dragged onto the stage and cuffed to the podium???
If she hadn't wanted to appear with him, she wouldn't have appeared.
Moral:
Americans punish SEX but NOT CORRUPTION.
Sex is bad but corruption is --OKAY?
And Republicans EXEMPT FROM INVESTIGATION.
WIRETAPPING is about catching Democrats & others.
What's all the FBI, CIA WIRETAPPING all about?
Why are middle-income Americans paying for a FOR PROFIT Iraq invasion that benefits
the "nanny state for the rich & corporate welfare queens" liek Big Oil, war profiteers and Cheney's CORRUPT Halliburton Corp.?
It's time for CORRUPT guys like JOE BRUNO to be swarmed by media and INVESTIGATED BY F.B.I. for his chronic CORRUPTION.
CORRUPT power-guys "on-the-take" for decades, like Joe Bruno who has siphoned out our tax money--WHY is he still boss in ALBANY NY?
How stupid are we?
NYState Legislature's CORRUPT JOE BRUNO shoud go next.
Enough of Bruno's manipulations, posing as the FAKE "innocent farm boy" and his lies and corruption. Bruno has been at his nasty game long enough. He has paralyzed the NYState Legislature for many years.
It's time for Bruno to go. The FBI should INVESTIGATE Bruno's corrupt practices. Or are Republicans EXEMPT FROM INVESTIGATION? What's all the WIRETAPPING all about?
Getting DIRT on everybody else?
The spotlight has been focused on Spitzer, but now it's time to
refocus on JOE BRUNO whose time is way past "over" in the NYS Legislature.
The Spitzer debacle should NOT DISTRACT us from the CORRUPTION we need to oust in Albany NY LEGISLATURE.
So sad.
I'm sad to read how judgmental these posts are. How do we know what the terms of this marriage are, or what is right for any relationship?
First of all, these are political marriages, which are not like most marriages. These women know the stakes and the rules, and I don't think we can possibly understand their experiences without a lot more information.
We should not assume that they are victims and we should not assume that their relationships are destroyed because of sexual behavior or that their marriages are not worth saving.
As someone who works hard at her 20-year relationship, I don't think encouraging hostile, immediate and/or public responses from the wives of these politicians is productive or responsible. These women are entitled to their private reactions whenever possible. They have no responsibility to satisfy the public's outrage.
Finally, and most important, this country needs to make distinctions between private and public information, and acknowledge that sexual behavior is seldom consistent with the rest of a person. That's why we usually keep it private. The Governor was not soliciting in a public bathroom, not condemning others' private behavior, or using public funds to do what he did. The relationship was clearly consensual. There are many reasons that men go to prostitutes, and they are not all unhealthy.
I would hate to have my job review include what I do behind closed doors with my spouse; wouldn't you?
All of what you say is true, but you leave out a few important details. First as attorney general, Spitzer prosecuted at least two prostitution rings. Second, as governor he was a strong supporter of and ultimately signed into law a bill increasing the penalties for customers of prostitutes. According to the reports that have emerged he may have been involved with this prostitituon ring for as long as 8 years, which means that while he was prosecuting others, he was engaged in the same behavior. These actions push his behavior from the private realm into the public area where he had to step down as he did this morning.
Why do you or anyone else think it's your business how this woman or any other woman chooses to deal with her situation?
Get a life. This is pathetic. Can't find anything interesting to write about? Hey, do an article about yourself and we'll decide what you should or shouldn't do.
...sigh... the quality of writing these days is so bad.
I think Mrs. Swtizer has the right to decide how to handle her family and their sad situation - don't you?
Perhaps all too many women out in the world know that all too many women lose their capacity for taking care of themselves in situations like this. Oppression has a way of undermining one's ability to see oneself as worthy of better treatment, of trust , of respect, of an individuality that allows for differences. I think this article is not a condemnation of Mrs. Spitzer - it seems much more a cry that we support all women to stand for what they deserve in life. Spitzer's family life has to be dealt with in the family. Her standing there like a victim does not make her children feel any better - that has to happen at home with father and mother engaged in truth-telling and heart-healing. He is accused of breaking a law and being a monumental hypocrite in a public office. Let him deal with his public office as a public officer and his home life with his family at home. Maybe he could have protected her from this kind of exposure rather than having her stand by her man under all circumstances in a public manner for the sake of his office.
No brainer....These wives show up for their children's sake!!! Would you want your children to think you won't stand by them when they are in trouble? There is no doubt that the wives are in pain but they will deal with the issues in private.
Yes, yes you are exactly right. I thought about this myself last night, and if this happened to me, I would protect my husband's reputation to the extent I could in order to protect my children. It is amazing what you will do to spare your child pain. These women are not in an enviable position, but their kids aren't either, through no fault of their own. Our hearts should go out to Spitzer's kids and maybe we could refrain from kicking him when he is down.
AMY TELL THE WOMEN, KEEP YOU EYE ON THE MONEY DON'T BOTHER TO KEEP YOU MIND ON YOU HUBBY.
BELIVE IT OR NOT THERE ARE A LOT OF HOUSES OUT THERE FOR SALE.
Is it possible that these wives turn into mothers, in the bedroom and beyond? They criticize the husbands in private, castigating them in the bedroom, disapproving and critical of their sexual fantasies, sexual appetite but supporting them in public. These bad boys are unable to walk away in the first place. They seek a disciplinary, organized, motherly figure to keep them straight. The arguments heard are his attempts to be somewhat independent. They fail in the bedroom because of the very nature of their relationship. In the end, the cause of the bedroom failure, triumps to save the marriage in the face of a public humiliation and discovery of his real sex life.
I think a lot of people can imagine having to forgive an infidelity. I also think a good number would never forgive an infidelity, and would leave the marriage. The difference with some of these women and most notably Hillary, is its happened many times, for many years How many times would your spouse have to cheat on you to leave them, 1-3-5, more? AT what point does repeated forgiveness become acceptance?
And if it isnt imporant why not tell the truth and say you have an open marriage, or that your staying in the marriage for politcal gain.
Donna Hanover kept Gracie Mansion. Not only did she not appear with Rudy when he told the press of their separation, she did not even know about it until the press reported it. I have tried to find this on YouTube without success.
I found it to be very sad to see Mrs. Spitzer standing on the stage. If Eliot were half
a man, he would have been on that stage facing the music by himself.
A man that would drag the mother of his children into a situation like that can never be a real man.
That's all I have to say.
Who cares about Spitzer's 6 yrs. of hookers, when we've had
EIGHT YEARS OF REPUBLICAN BUSH-CHENEY CORRUPTION???
When will we Americans STOP PUNISHING SEX and
START PUNISHING CORRUPTION, instead?
How stupid are we?
How media-controlled are we?
How conformist are we?
Republicans have PROSTITUTED OUR U.S.CONSTITUTION for 8 years.
Does anyone notice?
Does anyone care?
Why aren't they in jail?
AMEN! America's fascination with sex scandals only has parallels in what is NOT important to six-pack Joe---governmental corruption and criminal mismanagement coupled with a war without end.
Thank you!
I imagine he convinced her it was for the greater good. Most morally corrupt people have a talent for excuses and are good at recover planning and execution. They have to be.
Pres. Clinton and Rush Limbaugh are both perfect examples of scum monkey recover plans perfectly executed. Now Spitzer will join their club.
The scenario Amy suggests happens mainly in chick flicks. We long to see the bad guy get punished and the wronged triumph. This is fantasy. Real life is considerably more messy and nuanced. How ridiculous to speculate about the lives others lead. None of you knows what you would do if you were in this woman's position. She has done nothing wrong and has shown grace and restraint at what appears to be a difficult time. She deserves to be left alone; not dissected by petty gossips, and no life experience typists.
Excellent.
I can't believe that she was there willingly after seeing that nyt picture and he should be shamed even more for dragging her into it. If he cared for her at all, he never would have allowed her to stand there to be humiliated.
Maybe she doesn't care. Lots of couples have relationships like that. Some people are not as hung up on sex as others. She probably figures its easier that way. Less things she has to do.
Maybe because she loves him enough to try and get through this with him?
Theory? It's a fantasy to consider that they aren't.
As soon as he started in on his "apology" Silda should have reached out and with all her might slapped Eliot right upside the head!
And while he stood there, gaping at her in profound shock, she should have screamed "asshole!" and then marched off the stage.
I guarantee you, that little scenario would put an end to the "humiliated wife at the podium" tableau from now on.
Exactly what I was thinking as I watched last night. Thanks for saying it so well.
Woohoo and Right On, chronicBob!! This "wife at my side" apology is getting old. Let's liven things up!
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Posted March 10, 2008 | 04:55 PM (EST)