Today I had my yearly physical. For a confirmed hypochondriac this is no easy task. For me, it is more than just taking a shower, and cleaning the privates really well. It begins weeks before with intense google-ing on every symptom I have had in the last twelve months. This year, I had already prepared myself for a diagnosis, of Hashimoto's Disease, early heart failure or at the very least, Leprosy. (Not kidding, look up rash.)
All in all, it is not a day I look forward to.
I arrive at the office and sign in. Immediate paranoia sets in as I feel the receptionist is being extra nice to me. Did she see my blood work? Does she know what disease it is that is making me tired and fat? Why does she call me honey when she hands me my paperwork? "Just look this over and make sure there have been no changes, honey," she says. "What do you know!??" I want to scream but I hold myself together and take my clipboard to my seat.
I begin going down the list. So far, all is the same except my weight which has crept up a bit due to whatever disease that is ravaging my body. Then all of a sudden I see, that my ex is still the person to call in case of emergency and that all test results are to be sent to my old address where he now resides with this new wife. Holy shit! I came this close to the new Mrs. K perusing my pap smear results and worse yet, seeing my current weight. Do I really need her to know that the doctor recommended having my ears cleaned out twice a year by an ENT doc, to reduce the wax build up? No. I don't think so.
It then occurred to me that my ex-husband has been my "In case of emergency contact" for the last 27 years. Emergency being health related, I know, but in a way crossing him off this list was an emergency in itself. Who will take his place? And then I realized; no one. No one will take his place, he is the father of my children and the man I grew up with. No one will take his place, but there are people in my life who I can count on in an emergency. People I love and who love me. I am divorced, but I am far from alone.
It hit me that I probably needed to go through my documents and update all my contact information. Some things to think about after your divorce: does your will need to be changed? Does your ex still have access to all your private financial affairs? Is there someone you trust on your bank account as a signer, so that your money can be released in case of an emergency? Not pleasant thoughts, but ones that you need to attend to.
With a swipe of a pen my ex was replaced by my sister who will never leave me for a younger woman or refuse to take my call when she is on a "business trip." It choked me up for a moment, but I realized it was just another step on the road to starting a new life that was separate from his. I felt up to the task. Then the nurse called me in and I prepared myself for whatever I would have to face, which turned out to be a recommendation to eat more fruit and cut back on the chardonnay. Talk about an emergency....
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