THE BLOG
11/19/2013 06:58 pm ET | Updated Jan 25, 2014

Take Back Your Maiden Name? Not For Me

Wow. Today I had a real eye opener. I received a Thomasville Furniture flyer in the mail addressed to my ex-husband's new wife. This is upsetting on two fronts: 1. Why is she shopping at Thomasville when I am waiting for the year end clearance sale at Rooms To Go? And 2. Uh-she has my name. Mine. Sure the first names are different, but actually seeing her first name in front of my last one, gave a little jolt to this old heart, I have to say.

I asked myself why. Of course I knew they were married and that she had taken his name -- I mean OUR name, as her own. Is it because her name is bigger? My first name has only three little letters while hers is like a paragraph, all vowels. Mine is short, to the point, and leaves no unanswered questions. Hers is long and mysterious, and begs one to ask, "Where are you from?" picturing some far off mysterious land with a lot of blonde people.

I know some women who after divorce go back to their maiden names. I never even considered it. For one thing, I like my last name. It's cute and catchy and easy to spell.

It works great for restaurant reservations. It is nice to share a name with a famous gorilla. Also, I only needed four letter charms for my Pandora bracelet. Cool.

More importantly, it's who I am. I have had that name for 33 years. I became a wife with that name. Then I became a mother and can still see "KOKO BOY" (twice) and "KOKO GIRL" (twice) written in big letters on the nursery basinets. It's true that I also became a divorcee, prone to drunk texting and crying jags over Two and a Half Men marathons with my hand stuck in a box of Cheezits, but now look at me! First of all, I hate Two and a Half Men now, we all know Charlie Sheen made that show, and secondly, I don't have any time or inclination for drunk texting -- unless it's to my sister asking her if she knows how many Weight Watcher points in a bag of salt and vinegar chips. Best of all, if my dream comes true, I will become a published author with that name.

I have to admit I stared at that Thomasville brochure for quite some time, before I finally laid it on the counter and walked away. Although we share the name, we certainly don't share the experiences we had or will have while using it. Our marriages, our family life, and from the looks of this brochure, our furniture shopping experiences are quite different. In any case, she can have the house and the husband, but I am keeping the name.