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Amy Siskind

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Get Out of Marissa Mayer's Bedroom, Already!

Posted: 07/27/2012 9:25 am

For heaven's sake, how much longer will our media continue to obsess about Marissa Mayer's pregnancy?

In the recent 'war on women,' women demanded, "Get out of our bedrooms!" After all, it's our bodies, our business -- butt out! Paradoxically, in the 'war between women,' reignited as Yahoo's new CEO announced her pregnancy, we've allowed our media to make Mayer's personal life THE headline issue. A rush to judgement on the length of Mayer's maternity leave and, alarmingly, on whether she should have taken the top position at all.

It's a trap! A clever distraction by our male dominated media complex. We're being fed the headlines -- Mayer's pregnancy, jump in and judge! But, we have the choice on complicity in this war between women. Instead, with awareness, we can change our focus to the real issues at hand: why are there so few Marissa Mayer's (just 4% of Fortune 500 CEOs are women)? Why are women's voices missing from our national dialogue?

Why is change imperative? Women's progress is moving backwards. While women have finally caught up to men as college graduates, our leadership representation is declining in numerous fields including business and politics. To understand how gender imbalance in leadership hurts our country, we need look no further than the current headlines: the all-male leadership complicity at Penn State, the stalemate of non-collaborative politicians in DC, and the testosterone driven instability of our financial system.

Why isn't the media using Mayer's appointment as an opportunity to open a national dialogue about gender imbalance and it's dire implications? Perhaps, it's because the upper echelons of our media complex is almost exclusively male. They determine the media messaging we are fed, the lens in which we view it, and the experts who shape ideas. In major publications like The New York Times and The Washington Post, women compose just 15% of quoted experts. Even on women's issues like reproductive rights, only 19% of experts speaking or quoted are women.

Which may explain the media's fascination with Marissa Mayer's pregnancy; yet, their thorough disinterest when a man becomes CEO position while his wife is pregnant. Despite the fact that every one of us who is a parent knows the truth: the first weeks and months are unsettling for BOTH parents for a variety of reasons. Clearly our women leaders face a double standard!

Search 'Marissa Mayer,' and the vast majority of the stories focus on her personal life. Few in the media seem interested in why this 37 year-old is getting a pay package which Yahoo estimates at $20 million, annually and will rank her 24th in the Wall Street Journal's list of CEO compensation. Mayer will be the ONLY woman in the top 50! Money is power.

We should celebrate Mayer's appointment to CEO as a affirmation of what women CAN do. Use it to counter the media's constant messaging exhorting young women: you can't do it! Take for example, Ms. Slaughter recent piece in The Atlantic. After reading the piece, I couldn't help but wonder why Ms. Slaughter didn't go for a beer with her girlfriends to mourn her setback, then take the time to write a thoughtful piece about how to make things better for the next generation of women.

Of course, The Atlantic, infamous for reveling in catfights, would never run such a piece, anyway. Nor would a pro-women piece fit with the messaging promulgated in many media outlets (some may call 'patriarchy'). The media complex seems intent on featuring cautionary tales for our young women about perilous work environments and the untenable work-life balance. No wonder for today's girls, age 8 is the peak age for leadership ambitions.

But the messaging in Slaughter's article and the attacks on Mayer's personal life are based on a false dichotomies. That women have the choice to work or stay home. And that women have the luxury of taking long maternity leaves. These dichotomies are 'hashtag upper middle class problems,' not applicable for the vast majority of women. We must celebrate the choices we individually can and at times, must make.

Even while women are on the defensive in the 'war on women,' we can go on the offensive in the 'war between women.' Here's four easy things you can do right away:

1. Vote with your Clicks!
Subscribe to, click on and watch media outlets where women are widely quoted or are doing the writing. Avoid publications which feature sexist articles or delight in catfight antics.

2. Build your Network!
Make an effort to build connections with other women -- be it in your profession, or a new mom in the school yard. Networks are a power base.

3. Find Common Ground!
My niece, herself a new mother, after observing the battles on the playground recently asked me, "Why are women, women's worst enemies." Is this the legacy we want to leave to our daughters? Think about ways to find common ground with other women. With unity, women will move forward, again.

4. Tell your Daughters about Marissa Mayer!
Tell your daughter about the possibilities. Let her know that she too can become one of tomorrow's leader. In any career field.

 

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08:05 AM on 07/28/2012
I hope this recent obsession with her pregnancy might enlighten Mayer to the fact that feminism is still very relevant. I will go even further to hope that it leads the woman to reevaluating her anti-feminst views and her failure to acknowledge and appreciate how the feminist movement provided her with the opportunities and benefits she enjoys.
07:32 AM on 07/28/2012
Most of the articles on this issue have been written by women. I have yet to meet a man who even cares she is pregnant. Are you sure you are not projecting?
11:16 PM on 07/28/2012
THANK YOU. Feminism's greatest enemies: Other women, THEN followed by male politicians and non-gender-specific religious nutters, and the occasional misogynist (who, along with the others, only serve to make themselves sound ridiculous).
professor
Correkt the Spelling and Pick on the Moniker
04:07 AM on 07/28/2012
O, good. Women can now be larcenous, mendacious, vicious, exploiting, immoral bully robber barons, too. Isnt' progress great?
05:18 AM on 07/28/2012
Indeed. You've just discovered women are actually people and not some unrealistic ideal of feminine virtue. Congratulations.
11:11 PM on 07/28/2012
LOL! I know, right. Assigning women traditionally masculine adjectives IS revolutionary.
01:51 AM on 07/28/2012
I completely agree with you. I work for a large consumer internet company and I was doing an analysis for the keyword 'Marissa Mayer' between Yahoo! and Google news alerts - to my horror the majority of stories featured her 'pregnancy' including Huffington Post!! What about her work style? What about the stuff she did in Google - the Associate Product Manager Program? What about her interests - art, fashion? It's horrible...
foresure
Brash and Harsh
06:51 PM on 07/27/2012
She will shortley be a billionaire. Have a personal staff of hundreds.

But that doesn't mean she is fully, and completely a victim. Because as the sun rises in the East and sets in the West, Female=Female.
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04:35 PM on 07/27/2012
How does having a few token women at the top help the vast majority of women toiling who are toiling in the trenches?
05:16 AM on 07/28/2012
The point is to have more than a few tokens.
03:41 PM on 07/27/2012
"It's a trap! A clever distraction by our male dominated media complex."

This is a joke, right?
05:15 AM on 07/28/2012
Yes. But she does have a point. Why is the focus on the pregnancy rather than the significant lack of women in top positions? It is a much more valid question than "will Mayer have it all?" The "can she have it all" question is bogus. We already know the answer.
09:07 AM on 07/30/2012
Of course it's a stupid question and the article certainly raises a valid point, but that point is couched in so much "man-blaming" that it sounds ridiculous and loses credibility.
03:14 PM on 07/27/2012
I am a 59 year-old mother who has had a very successful consulting career, and I went to college at the height of the feminist movement. Of course I thought I had to be a career woman, and I was........but I found a way to do it part-time, with the help of a husband who also had part-time employment. One of us was always with the kids. I am here to say that I sincerely believe that a woman at the helm of Yahoo will be an inferior mother and that is the sacrifice she will have to make, whether her husband stays home or not. I know what it takes to be a good mother and I know what it takes to be a good corporate executive.........AND NO ONE CAN DO BOTH WELL.
05:11 AM on 07/28/2012
"I sincerely believe that a woman at the helm of Yahoo will be an inferior mother and that is the sacrifice she will have to make, whether her husband stays home or not."

So any woman who works is an inferior mother? I suppose this includes not only modern women, but women throughout history who had to farm, hunt, and try to just survive in general- anyone who in your opinion isn't focused one hundred percent like a laser on their child. By being a "bad mother" are you implying that women who work harm their children?
08:50 PM on 07/29/2012
Well, I think it goes more to the point that being a CEO is a very VERY time intensive job. It takes up most of your attention. Men in business are often criticized for not being good enough parents, for not being good enough spouses, for not being fully dedicated to home life. Its because many people who are dedicated to their career don't have the ability to match that dedication to their home life. Having a full time job takes you away from home for as long as you work, and when you are home you are either resting from work or thinking about it. That's difficult for anyone to manage. I think a more relevant question than "is any woman who works an inferior mother" (because that's generally true of a parent of either gender: that much time away from kids is, just that, time away from kids) but why we believe kids can't function unless the dominant parent is their mother. Why do we assume Dad's can't do just as good of a job?

Further, even though this woman is one a very few female CEO's, why do we need to blow everything she does way out of proportion? If we're going to elevate her status beyond that of the normal CEO, everything she does, everything she is and every action she takes will be blown out of proportion, including her pregnancy.
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dancingstu
Christian, liberal lawyer
12:26 PM on 07/27/2012
I am shocked that there was no mention of Sarah Palin in this article.