It's back to school time. As if parents and students don't have enough to worry about, there's an alarming study by the U.S. Department of Justice. The finding: an estimated 1 in 4 college girls will be the victim of sexual assault before they graduate. Also in the news, a lawsuit filed as a result of the suicide of a freshman woman who was a victim of a gang rape. Allegedly, although she reported the rape, the college failed to help her.
Young women aged 16-24 are more vulnerable to violence than any other age group. Rape of our young women is a staggering problem which receives little national attention. Statistics have always been hard to measure. Why? We live in a culture of victim blaming: "What was she wearing?", "Was she intoxicated?", "Why did she go to the fraternity party?". As a result, many young women feel ashamed and don't report the crime.
When Chris Brown beat up Rihanna, almost half of teens surveyed thought Rihanna was to blame. They wondered things like: "What did Rihanna do to upset the mild mannered Chris Brown?" Who do we imagine these teens will blame if they themselves become a victim one day?
I recently met up with two of my college sorority sisters. We are now mothers with daughters in middle school. We cringed as we recalled the numerous times we had naively placed ourselves in danger back in college. Our walks alone back to the sorority house after midnight on those cold, dark nights. The countless fraternity parties where we were among the last to leave - or in a room with a group of men. We are only grateful we made it through unscathed. Our takeaway: we wish we knew then, what we know now. Unless we arm our young women with knowledge, we are unwittingly sending them into a college game of Russian Roulette: how lucky will she be with timing and circumstances?
If we really want to nip this crisis in the bud, we need to start early. The precursors to rape in our colleges can be found in our middle school. Teen dating violence is fast becoming a crisis, with 1 in 3 teens who date experiencing some form of dating abuse. Almost half of teens have been victimized by controlling behaviors.
Violence against young women has become increasingly visible and acceptable in our pop culture. Our kids are fed a steady diet of music, video games, movies and television shows rife with violence against young women. A recent study by Parents Television Council found that while incidents of violence on prime-time broadcast television increased 2 percent from 2004 to 2009, there was a 400 percent increase in the depiction of teen girls as victims in that same time period!
Shocking, yes. Now as parents, we must act! Here's what we can do to help:
1. Have a conversation with your sons and daughters.
At least once a year, I speak to my tween daughter with an age appropriate message about teen dating violence. I reinforce the message each time there is related news in our popular culture, like when Chris Brown beat up Rihanna. Each time she rolls her eyes and gives me a: "Not this again, Mom." But, she is listening and taking in. When my son reaches middle school, we'll also be chatting on teen dating violence. As parents, it is our responsibility to teach not only our daughters, but also our sons. The website Love is Not Abuse is an excellent resource for starting a conversation.
2. Get teen dating violence in your school's curriculum.
If you are a middle school/junior high school parent, set up a meeting with your school principal and ask that teen dating violence be put in the curriculum. Only 25% of schools teach about dating violence; but in schools that do, the vast majority of kids say they can identify the early signs of abuse.
My organization is a national partner, along with organizations like Liz Claiborne and Seventeen Magazine, in MADE (Moms and Dads for Education to Stop Teen Dating Abuse). You can check out our website for resources such as sample letters to your school, or suggestions for curriculum.
3. Write a letter to the administration at your child's college.
We need to make colleges and universities our partners in protecting our daughters. Write and ask the administration at your children's school what they are doing to keep our daughters safe.
4. Forward this to a friend who might benefit.
Follow Amy Siskind on Twitter: www.twitter.com/AmyTheNewAgenda
It then goees on to say a comparison study actually found 1 in 80
but 1 in 4 makes for bigger headlines, and a bigger grant than 1 in 80
Does it matter
If the murder rate in the USA were 10 times higher than it is, would it matter?
If it were 1/10th would it matter?
There's a differnce in being smart and careful and leting yourself be terrorized
But more importantly College should be about learning how to think
The headline doesn't make you think and acting as if inflating numbers 10 times, doesn't matter is way of abandoning rigorous throught
Being accurate isn't the same thing as supporting rape
There are predators out there
Sloganeering isn't protecting yourself
there will always be predators and victims
But with care those predators can be caught, and dealt with.
What we should focus on is solutions to the problem, my suggestion is that we start to give our children proper sexual education. Personally, ignorance regarding sex is the greatest contributor to the incidence of these horrible acts.
facts , and real numbers are ways to make sound plans and sound decisions
False numbers are political
Reality isn't about politics
the DoJ report this article and headline are based on admits that this is speculation (the DoJ report is the primary source for the material hotlinked as the text "1 in4" in Siskind's article)
http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/182369.pdf
I'm not denying that it happens, I'm not about to minimize the horrendous impact on the victims' lives. I will say this: it is egregiously irresponsible to write this article as it appears, and with the headline as it appears. The notion that Siskind is engaging the readers in reasoned discourse on the issue is absurd. Siskind could have chosen to discuss the methods and limitations of the DoJ report. That would have been responsible and that is what is done in the DoJ report, which appears to have been motivated at least in part by methodological criticisms of earlier studies. Siskind does her readers a disservice with this article which is sensationalism being passed off as journalism.
http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/college-campus-assaults-constant-threat/story?id=11410988
A recent study from the Department of Justice estimated that 25 percent of college women will be victims of rape or attempted rape before they graduate within a four-year college period...
You'd be safer suing Wiki, and that's not a reference
Spend the 4 years developing rigorous thought
and being careful
it devalues and demeans women and facilitates exploitation, especially when the mob mentality takes over and men feel less personally responsible for their actions.
sexual attractiveness will always be valued
That doesn't devalue women, it's simply biology
the connection between that and male mob mentality is a nonsequiter
Summary: No one's justified, no one deserves anything, but no one should be surprised either.
Women can frequently prevent harm to themselves, most commonly, by choosing to not associate with those who seem to be at risk for harmful and exploitative behavior.
Realistically, women do need to be very careful at parties or alone with men. They shouldn't have to, but it's unlikely this will change soon.
IMHO this is the result of at least two generations of kids raised to believe they are entitled.
Everything has been given to them and nothing has been asked back in return. They've never been required to develop patience, compassion, or been shown how to delay gratification. Everything has been I want the best, I want it now, and I deserve it because I'm me!
Is it any wonder that the relationships between these people are shallow at best, violent at worst?
So then, we are left with looking at how we raise our kids. Will we take a long, honest look at that, or will we engage in ridiculous witch hunts so we can blame something, someone, anyone but ourselves? Given the recent history of this nation, I fear we'll do the latter. And the band plays on.
My gut reaction to all of this (which occurred about five years ago) was to call for chemical castration. I was castigated for being extreme. Now these boys are young men, and presumably some of them are in college along with the unlucky daughters of others. The lesson they learned? Be nice, and don't forget to NOT beat the victims to a bloody pulp. The real stats are trivial: that it happens at all is criminal.
But this "1 in 4" story needs to be corrected. The studies cited do not say that 1 out of every 4 women in college are victims. It is journalistically irresponsible to continue pushing incorrect interpretation of data.
I was molested by a 28 yr old man when I was 14.
Manytimes, I had to really push a guy away.
I had none of these sorts of problems in college. Maybe by then I was wise.
I had nothing to do with sororities or fraternities, except one party at a frat house.I stopped in there with friends and left within an hour. It was mayhem and the guys were pretty rough. They were quite drunk and there were huge amounts of all kinds of alcohol available. I decided it was time to go. Fortunately, my friends agreed.
I hung out with a lot of geeks and while we had big, wild parties, too, I never felt the undercurrent of derision for women that I felt at the frat house. Young men in frat houses or jocks, are known for their attitudes of superiority, that includes their interactions with women.
I was lucky. I made a lot of bad choices and was relatively unscathed. I made no bad choice and was victimized by passing strangers.
This was 1971 - 1980. Nothing has changed.