Ladies Who Launch: The Key to Finding a Work-Life Balance

Women, more than ever before, have a full plate of family commitments, business challenges, professional goals, and personal aspirations. The question is: How do we balance it all?

After interviewing hundreds of successful women for Ladies Who Launch, one thing we know for sure is that balance can be elusive, and sometimes even a myth. Featured Lady Kathy Freston talks about the eight points of wellness in her book, "Quantum Wellness," but mentions that you don't have to include each one every day in your life in order to prosper from them. Each day, take one or two -- meditation, for instance, or eating incredibly well -- and make a point of including them in your schedule.

Here are some tips on finding the right balance between crazy, fast-forward, running-on-empty, and a blissful, zen existence.

1. You may not have it all, all of the time but you can have it all some of the time. We all have different commitments pulling at our sleeves. Our children are a priority, but we also want to have a good spousal relationship -- and then there's work or our own businesses, which also rank high on the priority list. Get comfortable with the idea that sometimes one of them will get the shorter end of the rope. It's up to you to decide what that means exactly; for some people, it means taking Fridays off and making less money in order to be with their children. For others, it means prolonging starting a family until a business idea feels like it's found its legs. The goal is to define "having it all" on your own terms. And don't forget -- you also have a commitment to your own health, well-being, and happiness!

2. Stick to your "balance" guns -- it's different for everyone! Taking a yoga class twice a week and watering the lawn might be all you can fit into your life right now -- so take those moments as they come and really enjoy them. No two women live the same lives, and it's important to appreciate the time you do have to exercise, garden, or get cozy with a favorite book each night before bed. Figure out what it takes to keep your sanity and don't negotiate on it. Keep your commitment to yourself no matter what the recipe is for someone else.

3. Use your community, whether it's a virtual community or a group of confidantes in your city or hometown. When someone needs a nanny, another woman in your community may reach out to offer assistance. When another has an ailing parent who needs a lung transplant, someone else in the network may connect her with a surgeon who can help. Other times, it's as simple as getting a recommendation for a good graphic designer or lawyer. We must be there for each other, but that starts with you. Use the community around you, and be the support you would want to have. As women, we are unique in that helping comes naturally to us -- empathy is second nature. When things seem overwhelming, find a positive, resourceful community who can relate! They will be the first to come to your rescue.

By: Amy Swift, Chief Product Officer, Ladies Who Launch

Comments

[consciousmom]

It seems that women feel bad about themselves no matter what they do: working mothers are guilty because they don't get enough time with their kids compared to stay-at-home mothers, and mothers who are home with their kids feel like they aren't interesting and exciting enough compared with their salaried counterparts.

I think this article makes a good point that acknowledging that you can't have it all. I don't even try. I would add the goal of creating a life that has real meaning, and determining what that means to you, is a good first step. If creating meaning in your life is a goal, balance will find you, without your scheduling it.

Real balance and happiness will happen when we stop looking outside of ourselves and start creating lives that actually are a reflection of our authentic dreams and desires. Not easy, but well worth it.

Lisa
http://www.Holistic-Treatment-for-Depression.com
Your Daily Foothold to Happiness

[Lisa Earle McLeod - Huffpost Blogger]

The Myth of Perfect Balance

We're convinced that somebody out there has the perfect formula. The perfectly balanced woman exercises daily, makes tons of money, and serves balanced meals on time to her 2.5 kids, who just love to her to pieces because she's such a great role model. Oh yeah, and she probably sleeps 8 hours a night and has mind blowing spontaneous sex three times a week.

We don't know her, but her vision haunts us. We constantly compare ourselves to the idealized version we have in our head and we're forever coming up short.

Amy, thanks for reminding us that success looks different for everybody and that it is only through the love and support of our girlfriends that we stay sane.

We're all just doing the best we can with what we've got.

[ESchoolCoach]

Thanks so much Amy for this reminder!

On so many levels I have come to see the beauty of the network in reducing stress, creating time for what matters most and for experiencing the best of our female connection. I am more willing to ask for help today than I use to be, and am so grateful for the reminder of how powerful our associations really are. And yes! I am working on becoming the friend I most want to have too!

We have been gifted with the same 24 hours in which to decide what legacy we will leave behind today. What freed me greatly was learning that the average person will only have 10 people cry at their funeral, and a rediculously low turn out at the grave site if the weather is a bit off. So now I can finally make the decisions that empower my family without worrying about what the culture will think. Heck! They won't be showing up to hear just how wonderful I was anyway! Ha!

Believe well!

Adelaide Zindler, B.S., Fp
The E-School Coach
www.FearlessParenting.com

[brakmaster]

I have to admit that I'm not a lady or even a gentlemen. However, I do agree with point number two. I think it's important to find a time in the day to get away from the phones, computers, and find your center.

I take a small amount of time each day to do some simple stretching, followed by a short period of sitting on the patio to get a little sun. Sometimes it is hard to push away other people and distractions for even ten minutes, but removing yourself from that reality is healthy and necessary.

Start simple, and then expand outward to include the other points identified in this post. Even that simple ten or fifteen minute break of relaxing on a bench, doorstep, whatever can become a moment that provides breathing room to appreciate what you have, what you work for, and what you want to achieve.

[Cathexis]

I continue to be stunned by assumptions that workers enjoy such freedom in the workforce that they can make trade-offs, if only they are willing to prioritize. You write " ... for some people, it means taking Fridays off and making less money in order to be with their children." Do you REALLY think this is an available option for 98% of us?!?

The cold, hard reality is that most of us are NOT way out of balance because "we're trying to have it all" -- we're out of balance because work demands have intruded into what used to be personal/family life. I get a salary; I get paid the same whether I work 40 hours a week or 168. When the boss gives us projects and deadlines, they expect us to do whatever it takes.

Most of us don't get an option to trade money for time (and if we did, those of us on salary would find work would eventually encroach, anyway -- the only difference is then we'd be working OT at a lower salary).

It seems common, these days, to paint a picture where the individual is responsible for the conditions in which they find themselves, absolving employers of any accountability or responsibility. "Productivity" continues to rise year after year. Why? Most of it is not due to technology or process improvements; it is accomplished on the backs of workers.

Personally, I think that sucks. And I think failing to acknowledge it sucks.

[fetacheese]

i agree. companies have been getting away with murder the way they've completely infiltrated people's personal lives by demanding more. and we live in a culture that frowns upon people putting themselves first. i used to work 70 hours a week and we weren't allowed to bat an eye. people used to brag about how many hours they put in and you were expected to put in your share of time at the office. taking days off, going out for lunch, or leaving early was frowned upon and openly discouraged. perhaps that is an extreme example for most people, but the fact that this even possible, that companies are allowed to put these kinds of demands and expectations on their workers is totally ludicrous. however, i will say that we, as a society, seem to accept these newfound expectations. we don't often speak up, we take on the responsibilities so we can show our worth because we want to get ahead, and in the end, we get completely screwed. we wonder why obesity rates are sky rocketing, depression, anxiety, sleep disorders, cancers, heart disease, etc. we are literally working ourselves to death, and instead of companies finally taking some responsibility, we get articles like this that tell us to try and make more "me" time. while i appreciate the author's sincerity, it just doesn't seem realistic in the kind of world we are functioning in in America right now.

[rini]

I would add that most couples with children are now two job households, out of necessity.

Most of it is in order to pay for things that are necessary. Some of it is because of the "necessities" we think we need, such as a certain SUV or HDtv, or certain vacations that are not even relaxing. People in lower economic strata (most Americans) might nclude eating out or going to the movies. It's harder to give these things up because we have sacrificed our time and energy in every other way.

The large corporations have infiltrated our lives in every way and have affected our health and our values.

Who is big brother now?