Ladies Who Launch: Mealtime is Qualitytime

The Ladies Who Launch series gives members of the Ladies Who Launch Incubator a platform for sharing their stories of giving back and doing good through their business'.

When modern parents talk about their kids' daily routines, I almost can't believe they're actually referring to 8- and 10-year-olds. The schedules these kids keep! Between soccer practice, music lessons, yoga for kids and the Young Debaters Club, some of these little people should own a Blackberry to keep track of it all (did I just say that?). Lindy Bartell, an Incubator member from my home state of Oregon, espouses the virtues of the family meal, an oft-lost tradition that has proven to keep many a family not only together, but collectively sane. Times the nutty schedule by four and that hour of eating together becomes one of the only windows of calm, much-needed connection.

Amy Swift, Editor in Chief, www.ladieswholaunch.com

*****

Ladies Who Launch: Mealtime is Qualitytime

On the heels of Thanksgiving and well into the shopping media madness, I can't help but be grateful for the simple fact that my two boys are "healthy" eaters. We've begun to decorate the house and mark our holiday festivities on the calendar. With this my five-year-old just reminded me that I forgot to purchase a chocolate Advent calendar for he and his brother. So while I'm not rushing out to purchase this missing tradition, I am grateful that he instinctually understands what history and many cultures have told us for centuries: sharing a meal with family and friends is a special gift -- this holiday and every day.

As much as I can't wait to get an iPhone from Santa, I am still truly amazed at the number of distractions that await not only me and my husband each day, but also our young children if left to their own whims and discovery. And, they're all on sale right now...just waiting for the grandparents to buy them!

While we'd love to shelter our boys so they never find out about Game Boys, video iPods and the Xbox, we realize it's probably not realistic. Instead we've worked hard at establishing a few important family traditions in these early years that we hope will help insure that communication flows even during the busiest times of our lives. One such habit is sitting down, without distractions, to share a family meal.

Research reveals that sharing a family meal on a regular basis can prove to be one of the single most important traditions for a family in warding off negative influences during the teenage years.

A June 2006 article in Time magazine covers this topic in depth, stating that "the more often families eat together, the less likely kids are to smoke, drink, do drugs, get depressed, develop eating disorders and consider suicide, and the more likely they are to do well in school, delay having sex, eat their vegetables, learn big words and know which fork to use."

Interestingly, it's the educated parents, those with a college degree, who need to take note of this research since they are less likely to share a meal with their kids on a consistent basis.

Some of my fondest memories growing up are of me and my single, truck driver dad cooking together when he was home for dinner. When money was tight, we cooked up a can of chili mixed with cooked spaghetti pasta and would always
be surprised by how filling and tasty it was. He and I still reminisce about how we'd coincidentally stop by friends' house around dinner time to be invited to stay.

Maybe this is why I conceptually value the tradition of eating together with my own family. In reality it's often not the organized and fruitful event I wish it to be, especially with a three- and five-year-old running around as I prepare our meal (I'm forever a perfectionist).

In fact, I agree with the anthropologist quoted in the Time article when he says that "a meal is about civilizing children. It's about teaching them to be a member of their culture." While not consciously articulated as such, this concept was the foundation for the creation of our Piggy Platter placemat -- the misnomer that kids don't need to be little Piggies at the table, but rather, they just need a training tool to help them transition from the high chair to the "big" table.

One of the most comforting findings in the research however is that it doesn't so much matter that there is any peace or tranquility during family mealtime as the fact that it occurs on a regular and consistent basis -- at least three or more times a week.

The other promising news is that a sharing a meal with the family has been on the rise; the number of adolescents eating with their families most evenings was up 23 percent since 1998.

I know as our boys grow up it will be even more challenging to protect the tradition of sharing a family meal. School activities, sports, music lessons, church and more will push and pull us away from the dining table and into the drive-thru more than I care to imagine. But I hope that as we sit down with friends and loved ones during various holidays throughout the year, we'll all be reminded of the importance and free gift of breaking bread together and keep that time sacred for the ones we love the most.

Lindy Bartell
Portland, OR
Smarty Parents, Inc.
www.smartyparents.com
[e-mail]

Comments

[paysonjewelry]

I find that, even though my family is small at the moment (just me and my boyfriend), eating together is an essential part of our relationship. When we are too busy to sit down together in the evening we miss too many things about each other's lives. It's an essential part of us staying close. And, I know it was true when I was a child too - several time a week we had family dinners. Even though I didn't always want to do it, I know it made a huge difference to how I felt about myself, my family and the world around me. It also gave my parents the chance to keep tabs on me and make important decisions about when I needed assistance as I was growing up.

Payson
www.paysonjewelry.com

[loril]

I made a decision to do this with our daughter. She is only 3, so dinner does not usually look like something out of Norman Rockwell at our house. However, we make it a point to sit down together and have our dinner at the table, even when it is late or sketchy.

I don't know if it is coincidence, luck, or if it has something to do with this method of eating. But, our daughter has pretty good eating habits for her age. Sure, she still uses her fingers more than her fork...and some nights she takes a few bites and then announces she is done. But, overall, she looks forward to dinner and is an enthusiastic participant. Dinner represents her first opportunity to see the whole family together, and I think this is a factor in her enjoyment.

If possible, I would encourage home cooked meals (they don't have to be fancy) eaten at the dinner table as often as possible. Much restaurant prepared food is loaded with sugar, fat, corn syrup and is nutritionally suspect if eaten daily. I have no doubt that this kind of diet leads to many problems, some of them behavioral and some physical. I wonder about the rise of ADD and the correlation between these syndromes and the rise of convenience foods as daily fare.

[Lisette]

Dear Amy and Lindy,

To me and my family, mealtime is sacred. I come from a long Italian tradition of this. Dad was always home for dinner and we all sat down together. We shared our daily experiences with our Parents and siblings. We talked of current events, many times conversations were political or philosophical and dotted through all this was humor and so we laughed a lot too. It fostered a close knit family, incidental learning and great memories.

Lisette