THE BLOG
02/21/2013 09:33 am ET Updated Apr 23, 2013

The Academy Awards Are Killing the Movie Business

Some of my best Oscar nights have been ones where I resisted the conformist urge to view and did things that actually benefited me, like the one when I went to a clinic to check out a growth on my head or the time I went to perform at a bookstore in Santa Monica, stealing a (tiny) portion of spotlight for myself instead of orgasming over the triumphalism of those who care for and know me not.

Actually, the place didn't have a spotlight.

Of course, there are many reasons to avoid the Oscars, but the one with most meaning for the motion picture industry is that the Oscars are killing their business. The internationally ogled telecast is not an awards show, it is a cavalcade of spoilers, strangling Hollywood.

After all, movies are expensive and most people wait to see them until they can do so in the most economical fashion possible. So, by awards night, the majority of a movie's potential audience has not even seen the films.

And why should they ever after having everything given away by clips and speeches?

Not everyone will wait. Some will download the films illegally in order to see them by the night of the awards. At times, the films they're improperly viewing will be Academy screeners, sent freely to members in hopes said members will be moved to offer an award. These copies have "don't show these to anyone" messages all over them, ironic under the circumstances and not the best way to have your audience immerse itself in a cinematic world it wants them to find worthy of a statuette.

Every day in every way, the movie business is really the spoiler business. Especially on its biggest night of the year, a night when one billion people can see all the plot secrets and great acting moments that will spare them the necessity of ever paying to see the films.

Gee. The movie moguls are even spoiling it for themselves. Maybe they should wait three years before making a film eligible for the Oscar.

Subscribe to the Weird News email.
Truth is stranger than fiction. Step into the world of weird news.