CUPERTINO, CA (The Borowitz Report) - At a much-anticipated press conference at Apple headquarters, company founder Steve Jobs defended the performance of the new iPhone today, telling reporters that "it works great except for the 'phone' feature."
Mr. Jobs downplayed the problems with the iPhone, noting that many consumers own iPhones for months before realizing that the device contains a phone.
"The most important features of the iPhone, like the app that gives you a robot voice, work better than ever," Mr. Jobs said.
The Apple founder said that the company would be offering a fix to consumers who actually want to use their iPhone as a phone: "It's a special attachment that allows you to plug your iPhone into a landline." More here.
The Los Angeles Times says Andy Borowitz has "one of the funniest Twitter feeds around." Follow Andy on Twitter here.