NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - Taking great pains to explain how Times Square bombing suspect Faisal Shahzad was able to make it to JFK airport and board an Emirates airliner before being nabbed, authorities today said that they were following Mr. Shahzad, "but only on Twitter."
A spokesman for the surveillance team following the suspected terrorist said that they were closely monitoring Mr. Shahzad's tweets, "but he must have figured something out because all of a sudden he blocked us."
The surveillance team's revelations come on the heels of the Dept. of Homeland Security's shocker that it had friended Mr. Shahzad on Facebook weeks ago and had even played the popular online game Farmville with him.
"A few days before the Times Square incident, Mr. Shahzad attempted to blow up one of our sheep," a Department spokesman said. "In retrospect, that should have been a red flag." More here.
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