Ayatollah: Green Twitter Avatars 'Number One Threat' to Regime

Iran's Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, convened an emergency meeting in Tehran today to discuss what he called "number one threat to this regime": green Twitter avatars.

Khamenei told associates at the meeting that Iran's government had stared down many challenges to its authority since the 1979 revolution, but none have been as "terrifying and intimidating" as the ubiquitous green avatars.

"The green Avatars must be stopped!" he roared, pounding his fist on the table.

According to sources close to the Supreme Leader, the Ayatollah is considering a number of measures to combat the avatars, including banning the color green and distributing free smiley-face emoticons across Iran.

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