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Andy Borowitz

Andy Borowitz

Posted: September 15, 2009 09:24 AM

Biden to Head Commission on Outbursts

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Saying that "uncontrolled verbal outbursts are becoming a scourge on our society," President Barack Obama today named Vice President Joe Biden to chair a newly formed national commission on outbursts.

While Mr. Obama's decision to create the commission was seen as a thinly veiled spanking of Rep. Joe Wilson (R-S.C.), who last week shouted, "You lie!" at Mr. Obama in the House of Representatives, it may also have been intended to deflect criticism from Mr. Obama himself, who yesterday called recording artist Kanye West a "jackass."

Mr. Obama said that verbal outbursts were a growing problem and could cost the nation billions of dollars annually in beer summits alone.

"Regardless of how you feel about a national commission on outbursts, I think we can all agree that Joe Biden is the perfect person to head it up," Mr. Obama said.

Mr. Biden agreed, adding, "Anyone who doesn't like the job I'm doing can shove this microphone up their fucking ass." More here.

 
 

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