Bill Clinton Switches to Obama

In what some Democratic Party insiders are calling a particularly ominous sign for Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign, former president Bill Clinton today became the latest superdelegate to switch from Sen. Clinton to her rival, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill).

Sources close to the former president said that Mr. Clinton had been mulling such a defection for weeks, as early as the night of the Iowa primary, but that he only decided to make his decision public today.

"The American people want change," Mr. Clinton said at a press conference in New York. "Lord knows I do."

The former president said that "sometimes, at the end of a race, you have to put an old horse down," adding, "I'm not speaking metaphorically."

Mr. Clinton fueled speculation that he was seeking a role in an Obama administration, saying, "I know my way around the Oval Office, and I know how the super-secret double-lock works."

The former president said he would relish a return to the White House, calling his tenure there "good times."

For her part, Sen. Clinton said that the defection of her husband would not deter her from staying in the race, adding, "To my knowledge, he's the only white voter Sen. Obama has."

The New York senator denied that she was playing the race card, arguing, "Every other member of my family is supporting me, and by the way, they're white."

Elsewhere, a defiant John McCain said that his wife will not release her tax returns, "and neither will my girlfriend."

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com.

Follow Andy Borowitz on Twitter: www.twitter.com/BorowitzReport

Comments

[Syco]

Bill Clinton has been working under cover since Iowa

[suntzu]

And Chelsea will be the next Obama girl?

[Dave01]

NO!!!!!! I don't want Janet Reno's offspring around President Obama

[fToRrEeEsSt]

As soon as I saw the Headline I actually LOL'ed for real and knew who wrote it instantly.­.

Props to you as always Andy for another funny piece!

[BonzaiBoy]

LOL...good times! Thanks for this one!

[MHainds]

That has to sting. Even though an Amendment to the Constitution would keep Bill from serving as President, I guess it doesn't keep him from being the Veep?

[macracan]

Actually he couldn't be VP precisely because he can't be president anymore. I know it sucks, for I think a lot of people would still like him. But let Bill go for third, one must concede Bush third too, and that is more then I can bear.

Other than that, Andy's piece is funny as always.

[indypete]

Not absolutely sure but I think the same amendment that prevents him from being prez also keeps him out of the veep office or any office in direct line to the presidency. By the way... you didn't take the article seriously, did you? Please say you know it was a joke.

[monksp]

Actually, he can be in the line of succession, but in the event that the role of Acting President were to fall to him, he would be bypassed for the next in line. No one is restricted from holding an office in the line of succession, but if they're ineligible to be President, then they couldn't be Acting President. Just like Madeline Albright being Secretary of State but being Czech.

[Dave01]

Technically he CAN serve as VP. What makes it possible for him to do so is, yes a President is only "allowed" to serve two FULL terms, they ARE however allowed to serve 10 years MINUS one day. So yes technically he could return in the VP slot. If he were to somehow take over the presidency he would only be allowed to serve 2 years minus one day.

[Wigelah]

With the way people have lost their sense of humor of late, don't be surprised if you get hate email from the same people who don't get Jon Stewart. Thanks for the chuckle.

[Nonamnesiac]

I read a different story. I thought he came out against Hillary, not that he supported Obama. I think he's supporting Ron Paul.

[memi69]

Very nice Andy. It's good to chuckle in the morning, tends to make the day go faster.

[glaze]

I am rolling on the flooring of my humble home, gasping from the lack of oxygen to my lungparts! And at the same time I am attempting to reconnecting my greater-sized gluteal mucscleing that has become detached!
Thanking you, Mr. Borowitzing, THANKING YOU!

[zendem1]

The former president added, "She took my dang cojones in 1998 and I want 'em back!" Clinton was referring to the aftermath of the Lewinsky scandal, when then-First Lady Clinton took his cojones in a bold act of testicular fortitude.
According to former campaign strategist James Carville, Senator Clinton is an avid collector of cojones. 'Oh hell yeah, man," said Carville, spitting like a deranged serpent. "She's got balls---major balls. She grabs 'em and nabs 'em." Carville says that he can relate, since his own cojones have been in the custody of his wife, former Cheney advisor Mary Matalin, for over 10 years.
"Me and the Prez-dent,(Clinton) we call ourselves the "ball brothers," since we ain't got none," cackled Carville.
Matalin, who was having her face re-stretched, could not comment.

[racom]

Great stuff Andy. My question is, after he gets here in the Obama camp, are we allowed to throw him under the bus, literally? Please say yes, please

[nsiah7]

Eased the tension in my head. Thanks.

[Cramus]

Of course he would support Obama. He's one of those latte sipping white elitests. Hillary says those don't really count though, so she's not concerned. She still has the working class white male in her pocket and therefore, will continue to fight! Go Hillary!

[going2ireland]

Just one question. What are they doing why they are in her pocket?

No wonder she always looks so relaxed. I always thought perhaps she smoked a cigarette afterwards.

[KillTheMessenger]

Go get them, tiger!

[ENOUGH1]

ONCE UPON A TIME......­....