Bush Gives Musharraf Tips on Eliminating Democracy

In what he described as "an emergency mission to help a key ally in the war on terror," President George W. Bush flew to Islamabad today to give General Pervez Musharraf tips on how to eliminate democracy.

Mr. Bush said he scheduled the trip just hours after General Musharraf declared a state of emergency in Pakistan and suspended elections "because when it comes to eliminating democracy, I thought my friend Pervez could benefit from my experience."

Speaking to reporters aboard Air Force One, Mr. Bush said that while he commended General Musharraf's impulse to eliminate democratic institutions, he felt that the military strongman was going about it the wrong way: "When you're getting rid of democracy, the last thing you want to do is tell people you're doing it."

Mr. Bush said that eliminating such things as privacy, freedom of speech and the constitution had to be done "very quietly and stealthy-like."

"If I had gone on TV one day and just ended democracy like Pervez did, I would have caught holy hell from Maureen Dowd," Mr. Bush chuckled. "You've got to be crafty about these things."

Mr. Bush chalked up Mr. Musharraf's decision to disclose the elimination of democracy as a "beginner's mistake," adding, "I've had six-plus years of practice at this."

He also criticized the Pakistani dictator's firing of the chief justice of the Supreme Court: "Trust me, if you're going to get rid of elections, a Supreme Court could come in handy."

Elsewhere, astronauts spent Saturday morning repairing a solar panel on the International Space Station, then spent the rest of the day drinking and stalking ex-lovers.

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He appears at the 92nd St. Y in NYC on Nov. 7 with Alec Baldwin, Arianna Huffington, and Mo Rocca. For tickets go to 92y.org.

Comments

[Incredulous]

Propping up a military dictatorship in Pakistan and sucking the ass of the Saudi royal family, all the while strutting and preening and preaching democracy to the world. No wonder America is a laughing stock. Overthrow democratically elected leaders and then fund dictatorships. Preach democracy and then wipe your ass with the Constitution. Bush is a real charmer.

[LiarLiarIraqsOnFire]

Shut down the media, round up 'The Resistance', 'Disappear' people - this has John NegroPonte written all over it.

[bobh]

In all seriousness, what are we going to do when Bush or Rudy tries to pull a Musharaff?. Will we have the courage to take to the streets and get our heads busted?. I doubt it.

[fact finder]

Prez moressitfartif is in BIG trouble. He jumped the gun and acted before Bushwa.

[UltraClassic]

Musharef overracted, true. I wonder when the bloggers on this site are going to address Hugo Chavez and what is going on in our own back yard? Huff Po has grown strangely silent on that subject.

[sugarmoes]

this is very funny but would be HILARIOUS if it weren't so damn close to the literal truth.

[javagirl322]

Shrub needs to clean up his own backyard before offering advice to anyone!!

[Kenny2k]

So when Bush declares the war on terror will invade Iran. Pakistan and Afganistan go to war. He to will declare marshall law and suspend our elections in the name of national security. He will take over our government with his own private army and state his Presidency will last until the War on Terror is over. What will Congress do about that? Take a vote and give him that authority. Wake up America, "Times they are a changing".

[lawb]

PLEASE DO NOT FORGET, THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT RUDY GIULIANI TRIED TO DO AFTER 9/11, BUT SOMEONE IN THE GOVERNMENT HAS ONE MOMENT OF CLARITY. KEEP THIS IN MIND IF YOU ARE EVEN REMOTELY THINKING OF VOTING FOR RUDY GIULIANI. WHILE IT IS UNDERSTANDBLE WHAT MUSHARRAF IS TRYING TO DO, IT IS ILLEGAL, AS IT WOULD BE HERE IF BUSH, THE DECIDER, DECIDED TO DO THE SAME THING. MUSHArRAF IS DOING LITTLE MORE THAN WHAT BUSH HAS DONE-SILENCING HIS CRITICS, STIFLING FREE SPEECH REGARDING THE CONSTITUTIONALITY OF HIS ACTIONS, GETTING RID OF ALL THE LEGAL SCHOLARS WHO HAVE DECLARED THE UNCONSTITUTIONALITY OF HIS ACTIONS. MUSHARRAF HAS TAKEN THE ACTIONS OF BUSH ONE STEP FURTHER, AND DON'T THINK BUSH AND CHENEY DON'T WISH THEY COULD CONTINUE IN THE WHITEHOUSE IN ORDER TO CONTINUE THEIR ILLEGAL WAR AND ILLEGAL ACTIONS. SINCE THEY WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO GET AWAY WITH SUCH ACTION WITHOUT IMPLODING AMERICA, KEEP YOUR EYE ON RUDY GIULIANI. NOT ONLY WOULD HE DO WHAT MUSHARRAF DID, BUT TRIED TO DO SO AFTER 9/11. NO MATTER HOW GOOD YOUR INTENTIONS ARE, THIS IS AMERICA AND WE CAN NOT VOTE FOR ANOTHER PERSON WHO IS NOT WILLING TO FOLLOW THE LETTER OF LAW WHEN IT COMES TO THE RIGHTS AND ACTIONS OF THE PRESIDENT. SUCH PERSON TAKES AN OATH TO UPHOLD THE CONSTITUTION, NOT TO HOLD ON TO THE PRESIDENCY UNTIL HE OR SHE FEELS IT IS SAFE TO TURN THAT POSITION OVER TO SOMEONE ELSE. THAT IS CALLED A DICTATORSHIP, OR MAYBE A "DECIDERSHIP," AND THAT IS NOT AMERICA.

[BlueBoomer]

Looks like the Bush Administration's man in Pakistan has learned his lessons well:

Musharraf named himself civilian head of the government, much as Dick Cheney named himself VP running-mate for GW when he headed the search committee...
Musharraf has curtailed personal freedoms, much as the Bush Administration has relative to wire-tapping, etc...
Musharraf is establishing the power-base more and more in a strong central leader (himself), just as the Bush Administration has been doing...

On Sunday, Face the Nation went to JOE BIDEN for insights into this crisis.

THEY WENT TO THE PERSON WHO PROBABLY KNOWS MORE THAN ALMOST ANYBODY ELSE IN THE COUNTRY ABOUT FOREIGN POLICY... NOT "experienced" Hillary, NOT "newbie" Obama...

THEY WENT TO JOE BIDEN, who had actually been on the phone directly with Musharraf that same mornimg...

(And who also, btw, has an excellent record of sponsoring domestic legislation that has touched and improved all of our lives, so he's not a one-trick pony.)

Fellow Boomers, for those of us who have lived thru so much turmoil, this should be an easy choice, as long as we're realistic and pragmatic and don't let ourselves get caught up in the cache' of "the first woman" or "the first African American" president...It would be nice to see that day, but it's NOT sufficient at this critical time to be our main criteria for support.

JOE BIDEN is one of us...He has worked for the civil rights movement, has endured personal tragedies...He's smart, and has respect both within the US and among world leaders...

The chance that the country would ever regret a JOE BIDEN administration are slim...BUT, the liklihood that we could regret a Hillary Clinton or Barak Obama administration because of the weight of the meaningless "cache' factor" are significant.

DO SOME CRITICAL THINKING...WEIGH THE POTENTIAL BENEFITS OF EACH CANDIDATE AGAINST THE POTENTIAL RISKS.

Please don't let the "front-runner" media hype bury the UNEQUIVOCALLY BEST CANDIDATE...That would be a tragedy...

WE NEED JOE BIDEN.

[hannitizer]

Mr. Bush said he scheduled the trip just hours after General Musharraf declared a state of emergency in Pakistan and suspended elections "because when it comes to eliminating democracy, I thought my friend Pervez could benefit from my experience."

"When you're getting rid of democracy, the last thing you want to do is tell people you're doing it."

Mr. Bush said that eliminating such things as privacy, freedom of speech and the constitution had to be done "very quietly and stealthy-like."

"If I had gone on TV one day and just ended democracy like Pervez did, I would have caught holy hell from Maureen Dowd," Mr. Bush chuckled. "You've got to be crafty about these things."

Mr. Bush chalked up Mr. Musharraf's decision to disclose the elimination of democracy as a "beginner's mistake," adding, "I've had six-plus years of practice at this."

This is unforgivable. Bush should NOT be joking about disposing of fundemental rights of democracy. He is an embarrassment to all Americans. He should be removed from office through Impeachment proceedings and held over for trial as soon as possible.

How can anyone with a pulse support this clown?

[hannitizer]

Mr. Bush said he scheduled the trip just hours after General Musharraf declared a state of emergency in Pakistan and suspended elections "because when it comes to eliminating democracy, I thought my friend Pervez could benefit from my experience."

"When you're getting rid of democracy, the last thing you want to do is tell people you're doing it."

Mr. Bush said that eliminating such things as privacy, freedom of speech and the constitution had to be done "very quietly and stealthy-like."

"If I had gone on TV one day and just ended democracy like Pervez did, I would have caught holy hell from Maureen Dowd," Mr. Bush chuckled. "You've got to be crafty about these things."

Mr. Bush chalked up Mr. Musharraf's decision to disclose the elimination of democracy as a "beginner's mistake," adding, "I've had six-plus years of practice at this."

This is unforgivable. Bush should NOT be joking about disposing of fundemental rights of democracy. He is an embarrassment to all Americans. He should be removed from office through Impeachment proceedings and held over for trial as soon as possible.

How can anyone with a pulse support this clown?

[DSPinPW]

Checks and balances? No such thing in America. A good tongue lashing from Maureen Dowd is about the only consequence suffered by a Chief executive gone berserk - a Rovian, steroid crazed Dictat(Decid)or. The framers must be turning over....

Meanwhile the ineffectual Democratic Senate in the persons of Schumer and Feinstein would prefer to "settle" for a torture denying terrorism fearing Attorney General as "the best they'll get from this Administration" rather than fight for what this country deserves; a Chief Law Enforcement officer who acknowleges that waterboarding is torture and is willing to say so.

[Susanholmes]

*snort*

I'm surprised you missed the part where Bush talked about how, when stealing elections, you need to make it look like a close call. That 95+% of the vote that Mushareff is trying to pull off just doesn't convince people.

[JeffFisherandAlGore]

Accept the Absolute Truth.

Now the truth can be told

Absolute truth is BayPoint School

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