Bush Pays Surprise Visit to Reality

President George W. Bush departed from his planned itinerary on Labor Day to make a surprise visit to reality, later calling the two-hour stop in the real world "informative."

For Mr. Bush, the visit to reality, while brief, was still significant because it represented his first visit to the real world since being elected President in 2000.

"The President has not visited reality the entire time he's been in the White House," one aide said. "The closest he's come is watching 'Survivor.'"

Mr. Bush touched down in the real world a little after dawn, delivering a brief address on the airport runway in which he attempted to put the best face on his relationship with reality, a relationship which has been frayed in recent years.

But beneath the smiles and positive statements, Mr. Bush's aides seemed well aware that the President's relationship with reality is complicated at best, since his approval rating in the real world currently hovers at an all-time low.

"The President deserves a lot of credit for making this visit to reality," one aide said. "He doesn't have a natural constituency here."

On the whole, though, when the President's two-hour visit was over, most of his staff seemed relieved that the potentially perilous tour of reality had passed without incident.

"It'll be good leaving reality and going back to Washington," one aide said.

Elsewhere, after a new study showed that only one in 1,000 Americans know what the First Amendment is, Vice President Dick Cheney said, "Good, then no one will notice when it's gone."

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He appears with Arianna Huffington at the 92nd Street Y in NYC on Wednesday Nov 7 at 8 PM. For tickets go to 92y.org.

Follow Andy Borowitz on Twitter: www.twitter.com/BorowitzReport

Comments

[jubal8]

Huh! I thought when reality came into contact with anti-reality, there would be a big explosion.

[LeftWind]

Wouldn't it be wonderful if Reality could pay a surprise visit to Bush?

[Herrington]

Reporter to Bush "Sir how was your visit to reality?"

Bush to reporter "I don't see what the big deal is. I heard about reality, read about it in the paper sometimes, visited it. Made sure I had a return ticket (smirk)."

Reporter "Are you aware of the statistics that suggest most people live in realty all the time?"

Bush "No. That sucks. Sides, if that were true I wouldn't be the President would I?"

[larry278]

Karl Rove restored W's bubble & W forgot his shot trip to reality.

[realpolitic]

Even when the President recently visited a New Orleans classroom for the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, the children in the class were not allowed to express themselves about their living conditions to Bush or ask about the governmental cleanup. Has there ever been a President so protected and shielded from reality as this one, as if difficult questions would harm his psyche? And the press plays along asking him about what he believes instead of what he knows or how he has arrived at what he thinks is true. The press treat him as a child and the American public is not the better for it.

[AdmNaismith]

Lordy...call me when the flower-throwing parade starts. Just cancel my phone service now, you say?

[lisakaz]

This would be news, but alas, it's just another trip on the Spin Doctor Express.

[FlowerGirl]

Bush visits reality like those readers who believe blogs to unbiased. Some bother to comment and find that their never appear because they tell forbidden truths. Some even get themselves banned because they keep trying to alert the other readers to the wrong reality. One can say anything at all, no matter how false and derrogatory about some, but about others better not say "boo!" Now that is reality, and most seem unaware of it. And Bush's reality is similar. In these realities, all are equal, but some are more equal than others.
Bush is a decider as soon as his decision makers tell him what to decide.
Bush will attack Iran as soon as his decision makers tell him that he must.
Reality is for the little people. But the people who count make their own reality.
And, of course, here in the real reality, there is no censorship and no reaal objection to the coming (war) events.
It is nice to be Bush if you can be satisfied by arrogant stupidity.
It is nice in Bushamerica if you can be satisfied with willful ignorance.
Meaanwhile, the next war expansion readies itself. And more good and noble lies.

[HamletsMill]

"Reality is for the little people."

Good one FlowerGirl!

[liveandlearn]

which reminds me

if you want to call him chimpy mc flightsuit
how much more
will you enjoy
calling him
hee haw hitler?

[mommadona]

"Peter Pace Popped in and Provided Perfectly Positioned Parallel Piece if PorkPie to the Perfectly Proper Passel of Patriots who were Perspiring and Pleading for those Properly
Beefed up "VEHICLES" -

Perfectly Partisan Peter Pace Put aside the Passel of Patriots concerns.....

"Meet the new boss, same as the old boss..."

[RobertPaul]

Ain't it the truth?

[Keds]

Brilliantly written. Thank you. This quick trip will be the first in numerous "All is going well in Iraq" news stories after the Government Accountability Office report on Friday. Whoo hoo, I can't wait for 18 benchmarks to be explained away!

[FlowerGirl]

A whole two hours? Wow! How could he stand so much?

[keeplookin]

Bravo! I'm also assuming The Chimp suffered no serious injury from spending so much time in Reality.

Anybody know if there are any mirrors currently in the White House?

[dictatortot]

Bush would need a proctologist to pay a visit to reality.

Fortunately, the insulated bowels he inhabits seem to have room for millions of Americans and dozens of talk radio hosts and pundits.

http://www.newsprism.com