Bush Refuses to Read McClellan's Book, Calling It 'A Book'

On a day when Washington was abuzz with the news that former White House spokesperson Scott McClellan had published a tell-all memoir, President George W. Bush offered his personal reason for not reading it.

"I have no intention of reading Scott McClellan's book," Mr. Bush told reporters, "because it's a book."

Mr. Bush said he was "surprised" that Mr. McClellan had written a book to criticize him because "if you're trying to communicate some criticism to me, a book is pretty much the last place you'd put it."

The president said that he thought the chances of his someday reading Mr. McClellan's book were "zero," adding, "If I didn't read the Iraq Study Group's report, I really don't think I'm about to read Scott McClellan's little book."

Presidential historian Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota observed that if Mr. McClellan honestly expected his memoir to somehow reach Mr. Bush's nightstand, "that demonstrates just how little he knows George W. Bush."

"Scott McClellan would have had a much better shot if he had put his memoir in Xbox 360 format and then slipped it into a package labeled 'Grand Theft Auto 5,'" he said.

For his part, Mr. Bush said that there was in fact a book published this week that had caught his eye: the new James Bond thrilled entitled "Devil May Care."

"Now, that book looks like it could be good," he said. "Maybe I'll have Laura read it to me."

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He hosts "Countdown to the Election, with special guests Joy Behar (The View) and Jeffrey Toobin (CNN, bestselling author of "The Nine") at the 92nd Street Y in NYC on October 22 at 8 PM. For tickets go to 92y.org.

Follow Andy Borowitz on Twitter: www.twitter.com/BorowitzReport

Comments

[LaurieLee]

Reading is for elitists.

[madron]

If it's not My Pet Goat.....he can't read it....

[sirgorpster]

I understand GW BUSH is not much a reader and did not even read the 911 Report.
So, whats the big deal?

[JaneaneTheAcerbicGoblin]

"I have no intention of reading Scott McClellan's book," Mr. Bush told reporters, "because it's a book."

That's going to be another Bush whopper.

And to think some in the MSM think this guy is a genius, a visionary.

[CAPTAINSKIPPY]

He's waiting for the movie to come out, which he'll watch from his cell.

[glesslib]

A couple of years ago, when the White House released the President's summer reading list, it included "The Stranger" by Camus. God, that was a good one. I laughed the entire day. The last book Bush read was the unabrdiged, "Horton Hears A Who".

[JaneaneTheAcerbicGoblin]

Thanks for reminding me that Bush said he read Camus.

And he also said that he and Karl Rove were having a reading contest, and Bush said that he "read 3 Shakespeares".

Besides, I thought part of Bush's "charm and brilliance" (at least according to his enablers in the MSM) was that he didn't read, and that he was proud of his ignorance.

[glesslib]

Bush got through college by having a smart student do his written work for him. Of that, I am convinced. Oh course, the name of that student, along with his reserve records is lost to history. I am sure Daddy had all that silly stuff destroyed when he was head of the CIA, not for young George's sake, but for his own.

I have felt many things about the presidents of my lifetime, but this is absolutely the first time that I have felt that I am smarter that the man in the Oval Office.

[charlietuna11]

why would he read mcclellans book?,he still has an unread copy of the geneva conventionn on his night table..

[provgrays]

He already read part of "My Pet Goat" while planes were flying into the World Trade Center. That's a dedicated reader!

[LorettaSingbiel]

"Now, that book looks like it could be good," he said. "Maybe I'll have Laura read it to me."

I'd like her to read him THE RIOT ACT!

OBAMA '08!
HOPE & CHANGE!

Stay safe, healthy and happy,
Love, Loretta

[PigLipstick]

Not enough pictures to keep him interested !

[LorettaSingbiel]

"I have no intention of reading Scott McClellan's book," Mr. Bush told reporters, "because it's a book."

Then he will never learn from his mistakes...and will always be left to wonder "What Happened"?

What Happened? A "loose cannon" has broken a hole in their hull, thus endangering the seaworthiness of the whole ship.

If they had know THEN, what they know NOW!...

OBAMA '08!
HOPE & CHANGE!

Stay safe, healthy and happy,
Love, Loretta

[deecee22]

Well we all know that Mr. Bush doesn't like to read. "It's just a book"

Well we all know that Mr. Bush doesn't like the CONSTITUTION. "IT'S JUST A DAMN PIECE OF PAPER"

[AdobePhsyko]

"I didn't read the Iraq Study Group's report"
He doesn't even try to hide it any more.
George Bush is a Complete Idiot and a disgrace to our country.

Bring On The Indictments

[rabprevent]

PROBABLY BECAUSE READING DRAINS HIS BRAIN AND BESIDES HE'S ALREADY LIVED IT AND KNOWS ALL TO WELL WHAT IS IN IT

[JohnnieP]

The Problem with W. is that he just can't handle the truth. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that Bush's entire Iraqi operation was based on a plethora of lies from day 1. W. has been lying for so long that he wouldn't know the truth if it slapped him in the face. The impeachable offense for which the entire Bush administration should have been thrown out of office years ago is the arrogance with which they have executed their authority while they were supposed to be 'serving' the country.
Of course the morons in the GWB administration will deny any accusations of complicity in this
Iraqi freedom-fighting farce. Every staffer and every cabinet member in this half-assed administration
has been a bold-faced liar all of his and her life, and continues to be so. The sad fact is that these ap-
pointed Republican Hacks couldn't care less.
As for McClellen's book, in which the Bushites are called a bunch of liars, the last book W. read from
cover to cover was, probably "The Cat in The Hat Comes Back," which he read, completely, to the
class of 6 year-olds he was entertaining in Washington state while the country was being attacked
on Thursday, September 11, 2001.

[Liberal2]

Excuse me but your openning line demonstrates why your comment is useless: "...The Problem with W. is that he just can't handle the truth...."

Wrong, Bush can't handle ****REALITY***. Truth is simply collateral damage.

But Mr. Borowitz's column suffers from "truthiness", if I understand the term correctly. I can't picture Bush actually saying he didn't read the Iraq Study Group Report, but it sounds so much like Bush that it has to be true. Scary.

[scarfoot]

Well put. This is prototypical truthiness.

[Terriac]

It sounds like Bush can't read at all. Which would explain a lot of things. It would appear that he's actually illiterate. Quell surprise!