Bush Says He Lets Red Phone Go Straight to Voicemail

President George W. Bush commented on Sen. Hillary Clinton's controversial "red phone" campaign ads at the White House today, telling reporters, "When that red phone rings, I just let it go straight to voicemail."

Mr. Bush rarely comments about the Democratic presidential contest, but he said that he had to speak up about Sen. Clinton's red phone ads because he found them "so confusing."

"If I answered the red phone every time it rang, I would never get any sleep," Mr. Bush said. "Sometimes it starts ringing at 9 PM, and I am already tucked in by then."

Mr. Bush said that "there's nothing so important that it can't wait until tomorrow, or whenever I remember to check my voicemail."

In a rebuke of Sen. Clinton, Mr. Bush added, "If she doesn't know about letting your calls go straight to voicemail, I don't think she has the experience to be president."

Campaigning in Houston, former President Bill Clinton took issue with Mr. Bush's remarks, telling reporters, "When I get a call at 3 AM, I always pick up, if you know what I mean."

Pressed to explain exactly what he meant, the former president said, "Three o'clock in the morning -- come on! Odds are we're talking about a booty call."

Shortly after his "booty call" remark, the Clinton campaign said that they were revising the former president's itinerary to focus on states that had already voted in February.

Elsewhere, Sen. John McCain released a new series of campaign ads, showing him answering a telegraph key at 3 A.M.

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He is the host of "Countdown to '08" at the 92nd Street Y on Tuesday, May 13 at 8 PM with his special guests Susie Essman (HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm) and Jeffrey Toobin (CNN, bestselling author of The Nine. For tickets, go to 92y.org.

Comments

[definitelyNOTmisterRIGHT]

thanks andy, that is beautiful! keep up the good word!

[DRHoen]

rofl

[mlaiuppa]

The red phone has voice mail?

Well, that certainly explains a lot.

[Cos1]

You better watch it. Your using ebonics (Booty call), you know Hillary doesn't know what that means. She'll be trying to get you fired. You said a bad bad word. But don't worry, Bill put the phone on vibrate.

[seewhy]

it's the governor on the red phone, batgeezer!

[pigsatthetrough]

When the phone rings in the middle of the night:

It may be Rosie calling for Hillary
I hope its not Bill calling for your daughter
How many Republicans will be listening
Damn another Fox News Poll
Limbaughs pharmacist, wrong number
The village calling, looking for the idiot Bush

[clumberfeet]

Bush has the red phone forwarded to Karl Rove's office to spin what ever it is into a 'victory' or at least 'progress'.

[tkunz]

HuffPost's Pick

Brilliant!

[CAPTAINSKIPPY]

Sure is hard work, hearing the phone, then deciding to wait "until tomorrow", and let calls go to voicemail. But don't forget to pick up next time Iraq calls, Dumbya - you need to start losing sleep like the rest of us. BTW when you get a chance, tell us what you "recall" about UTX's bid for Diebold, and whether you believe in impeachment after your term expires.

[LeftLeftLeft]

Who's to say he doesn't actually delay responding to "red phone" calls??? He's skipped out on all of his other responsibilities . . .

[lynchcheney]

Very Funny!!! I was hoping someone would do a spoof of this throwing it back at Hillary...while she's at the desk diligently looking after us, Bill in his PJs is heading back from the kitchen with a left-over chicken leg, gets back into bed, and when the phone rings, before he answers he turns on the lamp to reveal he's in bed with a White House intern.

[BlueInARedState]

Still laughing! Sadly, I can believe W lets the red phone roll over to voicemail. Okay everybody, tap your heels together three times and repeat after me, "There's no place like DC on Jan 20. There's no place like DC on Jan 20."

[NatteringNabobs]

They record all our calls anyway. No need to pick up.

Bush/Cheney considers answering an actual phone at 3am so 90's.

[JustCallMeBaby]

HAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHA!

[Verity1025]

Maybe I haven't had enough coffee today, but it wasn't until I'd read the second comment that I realized this was a spoof. The booty comment seemed a little odd, but overall the whole thing seemed believable. Sad commentary on what this campaign has become.

[jimmyjones22]

LOL, I didn't know it was a spoof either. It sounds like something dubya might say, and the only thing that might of raised of flag was clinton's 'booty call' comment.

Very funny stuff. Ok, i'm awake now, laughing my ass off!