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Andy Borowitz

Andy Borowitz

Posted: February 11, 2010 11:04 AM

CIA: Increase in Indecipherable Chatter Turns Out to Be Palin

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LANGLEY, VA (The Borowitz Report) - A sharp uptick in what the Central Intelligence Agency has termed "indecipherable chatter" has been traced to former Alaska governor Sarah Palin, an agency spokesperson confirmed today.

According to the spokesperson, the CIA first noted a dramatic increase in the unintelligible utterances around the time of the launch of Gov. Palin's book, Going Rogue.

"We had a difficult time deciphering them because they did not seem to follow the discernible pattern of an organized language or code," the spokesperson said.

In an appearance on Fox News today, Gov. Palin confirmed that the impenetrable chatter was hers and explained that she spoke the way she did "to confuse foreigners to our soil who would attempt to harm us by understanding us."

"Being that Americans have difficulties understanding what I'm saying, just now imagine, also too, how confusing I must be to foreign ears like Putin," she said.

When asked what her favorite language was, Gov. Palin responded, "All of 'em." More here.

 
 
 

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LANGLEY, VA (The Borowitz Report) - A sharp uptick in what the Central Intelligence Agency has termed "indecipherable chatter" has been traced to former Alaska governor Sarah Palin, an agency spokespe...
LANGLEY, VA (The Borowitz Report) - A sharp uptick in what the Central Intelligence Agency has termed "indecipherable chatter" has been traced to former Alaska governor Sarah Palin, an agency spokespe...
 
 
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