One day after admitting to an extramarital affair with an aide, Sen. John Ensign (R-NV) pleaded for understanding, arguing that hours spent on a tanning bed "fried [my] judgment."
"I ask all of those who consider my wrongdoing to lie an hour on my tanning bed," he said. "You'll see - your ability to tell right from wrong gets pretty darn baked."
The Nevada senator agreed to 200 hours of community service in which he will work as a traffic cone.
In a positive development for Sen. Ensign, he received a strong vote of confidence today from another key tanned Republican in Congress.
According to congressional insiders, fellow baked Republican John Boehner (R-OH) is considering breaking off from the G.O.P. along with Sen. Ensign and forming a so-called Orange Party.
Get tickets to see Andy Borowitz Live in NY July 2 here.
Follow Andy Borowitz on Twitter: www.twitter.com/BorowitzReport