General Petraeus Limerick Contest Winners

05/25/2011 12:15 pm ET

In my last column I reported that was planning a "really mean" limerick about General David Petraeus. According to the story, Moveon had composed the first four lines of the poem, but was stumped about the fifth and last line:

Hey there, General Petraeus
You should be called General Betray-us
Your views on Iraq
Are one big crock
(last line here)

Within minutes, readers deluged me with hundreds of submissions offering a last line to's mean limerick. While almost all of the submissions rhymed with "Petraeus" and some of them even made sense, here are the lines that I have forwarded to

"Get us out before they fillet us."

"Urging private contractors to slay us."

"And when will the world pay us?"

From Shakespeare:

"This doth really dismay us."

From Bob Barker:

"Don't forget to neuter and spay us."

And from Yoda:

"Please remove from this fray us."

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, He appears with Alec Baldwin, Arianna Huffington and Mo Rocca at the 92nd Street Y in NYC on Wednesday Nov 7 at 8 PM. For tickets go to