In what many considered a must-win contest for the two ABC News personalities, Charles Gibson handed rival George Stephanopoulos a resounding defeat in last night's televised debate.
With over ten million viewers watching, the stakes were high for the two ABC rivals to see who could pepper the candidates with the most so-called "gotcha" questions.
Gibson drew blood first, smothering the presidential candidates with so many trick questions that he immediately seemed to put Stephanopoulos on the defensive.
An aide to Gibson later summed up the secret to the ABC anchor's decisive victory: "He didn't let the candidates talk too much, and he made sure that this debate would be about Charles Gibson and nothing but Charles Gibson."
After the debate, a downcast George Stephanopoulos tried to put the best face on his own performance, telling reporters, "It's not the quantity of gotcha questions you ask, it the quality, and I think my gotcha questions were better than Charlie's gotcha questions."
For his part, Gibson seemed to relish drubbing his ABC colleague.
"George can spin it anyway he wants," Gibson said. "But anyone who saw that debate knows I kicked his little ass."
Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He is the host of "Countdown to '08" at the 92nd Street Y on Tuesday, May 13 at 8 PM with his special guests Calvin Trillin (The New Yorker), Susie Essman (HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm) and Jonathan Alter (Newsweek, MSNBC). For tickets, go to 92y.org.