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Andy Borowitz

Andy Borowitz

Posted: November 12, 2007 05:53 PM

Hillary Refuses to Answer Paper-or-Plastic Question


Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY) raised eyebrows in Iowa today when she refused to respond to a supermarket cashier's question about her preference for paper or plastic bags, calling the inquiry "totally hypothetical."

Mrs. Clinton's aversion to hypothetical questions has been a hallmark of her quest for the Democratic presidential nomination, but her refusal to answer the paper-or-plastic query during a campaign stop in Davenport took even some of her closest supporters aback.

The New York senator had stopped by the local supermarket for a photo opportunity, but her appearance ran off the rails when she was blindsided by the cashier's unexpected question.

"This paper-or-plastic business is one of those 'gotcha' questions that I'm not going to get into," Mrs. Clinton said. "I don't want to be in a situation where I've chosen one and that takes the other one totally off the table."

Shunning both paper and plastic, Mrs. Clinton left the store clutching an unwieldy assortment of groceries in her bare hands.

The paper-or-plastic controversy was the second bump in the road for Mrs. Clinton today, coming just hours after a citizen who posed a question to her in a town hall meeting was revealed to be her husband, former President Bill Clinton, dressed as a woman.

President Clinton, wearing a blonde wig and an Ann Taylor wrap dress, asked Mrs. Clinton, "Will your presidency continue the glorious legacy of my - I mean your husband's - terms in office?"

Elsewhere, Chelsy Davy, Prince Harry's girlfriend of three years, said she dumped the Prince because "I got tired of explaining to friends why my boyfriend was always wearing a Nazi uniform."

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He hosts an all-new edition of "Next Week's News" starring Amy Sedaris. John Oliver (The Daily Show) and Christian Finnegan (VH1's Best Week Ever) at Comix on Thursday January 17 at 8 PM. Comix is located at 353 West 14th Street, just east of Ninth Avenue. For tickets, call 212-524-2500 or go to comixny.com. For a $5 discount, use the promotional code ANDY.

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