Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, who has been accused in recent days of padding her foreign policy resume while First Lady, admitted today that she may have exaggerated about an encounter she said she had with al-Qaeda terror mastermind Osama bin Laden in 1998.
In an appearance on NBC's Meet the Press on Sunday, Sen. Clinton told host Tim Russert, "I wrestled bin Laden in his cave in 1998 and had him pinned to the ground before the bastard got away."
But a review of Sen. Clinton's official White House schedule from that period revealed that the then-First Lady was nowhere in the vicinity of Mr. bin Laden on that day, but was instead greeting a group of honor roll students at Disney World in Orlando.
"I may have misspoke about what went on that particular day," Sen. Clinton said today. "But it was a very busy time for me, what with having that knife-fight with Kim Jong-Il and all."
Reporters peppered Sen. Clinton's new press spokesman with questions about another purported exploit of hers, in which the senator claimed that she and a ragtag team of blue-collar drillers deflected an asteroid on a collision course with the Earth.
"Everything Hillary Clinton says is true," said her new spokesman, the author James Frey.
Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He is the host of "Countdown to '08" at the 92nd Street Y on Tuesday, May 13 at 8 PM with his special guests Calvin Trillin (The New Yorker), Susie Essman (HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm) and Jonathan Alter (Newsweek, MSNBC). For tickets, go to 92y.org.
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"... small erections may be finished by their first architects; grand ones, true ones, ever leave the copestone to posterity. God keep me from ever completeing anything. This whole book is but a draught - nay, but a draught of a draught. Oh, time, strength, cash, and pacience!
Herman Melville Chapter32 Moby Dick
Hillary has a great teacher, Bill. the Clintons have lied about everything from sex in the Oval Office and Travelgate to Normandy Beach type landings in Bosnia to further their own cause. We presently have an administration that has consistently lied to the American public. We certainly don't need to replace it with one that is no less duplicitous.
Call it what you want, padding the resume, gilding the lily, embroidering the truth, burnishing the image, spinning the facts... a lie is a lie is a lie.
We already have a White House full of liars, do we want or need more?
Gramma Rose
making light of a situation where she was caught - LYING.
duh. Does she really think people won't see through it? What a megalomaniac.
Hillary does have a great teacher, Bill The Clintons have lied about everything from sex in the Oval Office to Normandy Beach like landings in Bosnia in order to advance their cause. We currently have an adminstration that has lied to Americans for the advancement their cause. We don't need to exchange it for another one that is no less duplicitous.
Let's look at the film of what Clinton actually said:
(film of Hillary driving a black Ferrari 365/GTB/4 Daytona Spyder at night on the main strip in Miami.....)
Well I remember,
I remember dont worry (worry worry worry)
How could I ever forget
its the first time,
the last time
we ever met (met met met met met met)
But I know the reason why you keep your silence up, (up up up up)
no you dont fool me
The hurt doesnt show;
but the pain still grows
Its no stranger to you or me
DOOSH DOOSH DOOOSH DOOOSH DO DO DO DO DOOO DOOOOOSH
(end of tape)
Well, looks ok to me.
So original! Which site do you go to to copy song lyrics? I'm wondering if this is some new Yuppie communication disorder, or just plain old laziness. Do you have any words of your own, or are you content just to regurgitate what someone else said a couple of decades ago?
When I was in high school we called it verbal vomit., funny how the name still fits. By the way, learn to spell and find out what a contraction and an apostrophe are.
Gramma Rose
Additionally, if you we're (oops, I mean WERE) to research my post history, you would see I am a virtual font of originality.
Lastly, regarding your "verbal vomit" comment - "Verbal" means to express in spoken rather than written words.
To "verbalize" something is to use one's mouth, lungs, throat and tounge to push air out of the human body in such a manner to make recognizable sounds that form the basis of communication between two or more people. These sounds can be linked together to form neat things, like Presidential Addresses, Church Semons and Oscar-caliber Dialogue from Porno Movies. So you should have updated your insult and called it "textual vomit".
Lastly (I know I said "lastly" in the last paragraph - but as you rightly point out in your comment, I'm lazy - much too lazy to click my mouse button or hit my backspace key - so I'm just gonna keep on typing) in regards to spelling - Mark Twain said the following: "I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words." Now of course he said that when he was piss-drunk off his ass in a San Fran whore-house, but I believe in the spirit of the quotation rather the where it was said.
I'm just lazee that way.
4:51pm
Alexandria, VA
I love it. Please tell me there will be jokes on the Late Show tonight, too.