WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) -- In a three-way swap that may be unprecedented in U.S. history, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is set to become Vice President of the United States, Vice President Joe Biden will become President of Afghanistan, and Afghan President Hamid Karzai will be traded to the Minnesota Vikings.
President Barack Obama made the stunning announcement at the White House today, using a PowerPoint demonstration to explain a personnel move that still left many scratching their heads.
"I am confident that Hillary and Joe are up to speed and ready to go in their new jobs," he said. "And I expect Karzai to be in shape by midseason."
When asked if the complicated swap might confuse voters in advance of the midterm elections, the President said, "I certainly hope so." Continue reading here.
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