Sen. Hillary Clinton (D - NY) introduced a new wrinkle into the math of the Democratic presidential contest today, urging the party's rules committee to include the votes of her "imaginary friends" in her final tally.
At a campaign rally in Louisville today, Sen. Clinton said that she is now officially ahead of her rival, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill) in the popular vote "if you include the votes of my imaginary friends."
While Sen. Clinton refused to put an exact number on her legions of imaginary voters, she said that they were "in the zillions."
Party rules make no specific mention of the votes of imaginary friends, but Sen. Clinton appeared dismissive of that state of affairs, calling it "a glaring omission."
"My imaginary friends may be imaginary to the people who run the Democratic Party, but I can assure they are very real to me," she said. "And they are going to take me all the way to the White House!"
Sen. Clinton's latest strategy did not seem to rattle the party's presumptive nominee, Sen. Obama, who cancelled his campaign schedule today to spend time updating his iTunes library.
But a defiant Sen. Clinton seemed determined to stay in the race, vowing to take her case "over the heads of the superdelegates."
"I am going to appeal directly to my Fairy God-delegate," she said.
Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He hosts "Countdown to the Election, with special guests Joy Behar (The View) and Jeffrey Toobin (CNN, bestselling author of "The Nine") at the 92nd Street Y in NYC on October 22 at 8 PM. For tickets go to 92y.org.
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