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In Speech on Religion, Obama Explains His Faith in Oprah
Under pressure to explain his religious faith to the American people, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama delivered a 45-minute speech today discussing his belief in Oprah Winfrey.
In an election year that has been dominated by discussions of candidates' religious faith, perhaps no candidate's religion has been more controversial than Sen. Obama's Oprahism.
Speaking to supporters at the University of Iowa, the Illinois senator devoted his entire speech to his religious faith but mentioned Ms. Winfrey only once by name.
"My religion is a personal matter to me," Sen. Obama told his followers. "Having said that, let me make this clear: I have accepted Oprah as my host."
Later in the day, Ms. Winfrey toured the state with Mr. Obama and, in a stunning demonstration of her influence, briefly caused a solar eclipse.
"Sun and moon, do my bidding!" she roared, raising her hands above her head and delighting the crowd with the celestial display.
"Oprah is without question the most powerful force in the election right now," said Carol Foyler, 45, an Obama supporter from Cedar Rapids. "I'd like to see Bill Clinton do that."
Davis Logsdon, who studies the interrelation between politicians, religion and talk-show hosts at the University of Minnesota, said that Sen. Obama's worship of Oprah Winfrey puts him in the mainstream of American theological belief.
"Over thirty percent of Americans currently define themselves as Oprahists," Mr. Logsdon said. "And that number is higher during sweeps."
Elsewhere, the CIA created more controversy today by acknowledging that it accidentally returned several interrogation tapes to Blockbuster.
Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He hosts an all-new edition of "Next Week's News" starring Amy Sedaris. John Oliver (The Daily Show) and Christian Finnegan (VH1's Best Week Ever) at Comix on Thursday January 17 at 8 PM. Comix is located at 353 West 14th Street, just east of Ninth Avenue. For tickets, call 212-524-2500 or go to comixny.com. For a $5 discount, use the promotional code ANDY.
Follow Andy Borowitz on Twitter: www.twitter.com/BorowitzReport
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The MEDIA will have us convinced that Bill Clinton and Oprah WInfrey are the ones running for PREZ. They get as much press and the issues are pushed aside for discussing polls and the soap-opera side of politics.
People, this is satire.
ANYONE WITH ANY BRAINS "KNOWS" THAT THE ONLY REASON OPHRA GOT INTO THIS POLITICAL FIGHT IS BECAUSE "ONE CANDIDATE IS BLACK, LIKE HER"!! SHE HAS NEVER NEVER INVOLVED HERSELF IN "ANY POLITICAL" FUNCTION BEFORE!! NOW TELL ME PEOPLE, IF THIS IS "DISCRIMINATION" AGAINST THE WHITES CANDIDATES NOW AND PAST ONES, I'LL EAT MY SCARP..I DON'T WEAR A HAT.....
bullcrap, barrister. Speak for yourself. The polls just don't show that and Bush proved anybody can be president, even an idiot. Maybe you are hardwired to view darker people as inferior, but most of us have outgrown that brainwash.
I don't need an explanation about Obama's religion. His record, like John Edwards, is one of fighting for the underdog, making good decisions and demonstrating common sense in government. I am sure that Obama will act for the common good and will not take on issues that steal taxpayer dollars from worthwhile programs and distract him from putting this nation back on track.
Our country has had too many leaders that are bad businessmen (W is the epitomy), I want a leader who is good at governance, and enticing the best minds and well qualified people in America to serve their country with integrity, honor and pride.
Obama, Hillary and John Edwards can do that.
The Republicans are licking their chops!
The only thing I have to say about his speech through Oprah is this: "Even the elected will be fooled". Why didn't he say, " I am not sorry for some of the decisions I have made in some of the debates. Giving licenses to illegal aliens will help me become the new president. These illegals will have their licenses and will definitely be able to assist me by getting voting cards. Even social security cards now. Yes, I am not sorry for this decision. Secondly, I am not sorry for not being in the floor voting for important bills, this way I can say laterto the voters, I didn't get there on time. Yes, I am not sorry for overthrowing the "dont ask and don't tell" policy. After the election, I will make sure to boycott those sinners. So, please don't forget that I am a christian, even if it is a converted christian.!
PLEASE, PLEASE , PLEASE DON'T ELECT A PRESIDENT ON RELIGIOUS STUFF AGAIN. I THOUGHT RELIGION AND GOVERNMENT WERE NOT SUPPOSE TO BE CONNECTED. DIDN'T WE JUST DO THIS RELIGIOUS THING FOR THE LAST 8 YEARS AND LOOK WHERE WE ARE NOW....WHAT ARE WE JUST SLOW LEARNERS ????????
I have known JFK. Obama, you are not JFK because JFK waited until he was nominated before he talked about his religion.
:-D
This is funny - almost as good as Huckabee's running mate.
But why are there so many rabid bunnies gnawing at the fringe of this obviously funny blog? Get a sense of humor, people.
Andy Borowitz is a genius. I will vote for him. No,really, I am scared of idol worship and rah-rah oh-oh-oh, oh-no. Obama is not the Messiah. He never changed anything. As for his vote on Iraq - he was in a Dem. controlled legislature where it took no courage. The religiousity of his campaign is a big RED flag. Andy keep up your good job, your fan!
Obama represents what is good in America today. I have loved him since he was elected. Even if Oprah wasn't in his corner, I would like the guy. My dream ticket for 08 is Obama/Webb. But Obama/Biden wouldn't be bad either.
this whole comedy is disgusting... and who cares about obama's religion??? the fact is that he does not have the experience to be able to handle domestic and international matters. he is really an upstart! we need divne protection!!!
Because a very rich person who invested in Africa supports a candidate, don't mean i will. The whole royalty thing of Hollywood, and Washington makes us working stiffs step back and, look at our choices, Well thats two candidates down. I no longer believe that Obama will cause any change. And Hillary has her own agenda,which don't include the people, just Bigger Government. Religion don't mean they are good either,so i'm still waiting for someone to step up and win my vote with truth, and genuine American Values. I Know i'm dreaming....
Obama is the least electable Democrat. And only a fool would vote for any of the republican oil barons again.
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