10/12/2009 02:34 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Iran Developing Boy Band, U.N. Fears

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - The United Nations Security Council met in emergency session today amid fears that Iran may be close to developing a boy band.

Intelligence sources have worried for years that the Iranian government has been assembling the know-how to assemble such a singing group, but concerns spiked considerably last month when satellite photos detected a shipment of choreographers from Miami arriving in Tehran.

"The proliferation of boy bands is quickly becoming the number one global security threat," said Professor Davis Logsdon, who has been studying the efforts of so-called rogue states to acquire homegrown boy bands.

"In addition to the new boy bands, there are also aging boy bands like The Backstreet Boys who are still out there and increasingly unstable," he added.

In Tehran today, Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad tried to assure the world that Iran was developing its boy band for peaceful purposes, an assertion that met with skepticism from U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

"Iran says it will use its boy band for peaceful purposes," Secretary Clinton said. "When we are talking about boy bands, there is no such thing." More here.