John Edwards on Verge of Admitting He Is Total Douche

In what amounts to a complete about-face, former presidential candidate John Edwards is about to admit that he is a total douche, aides to Mr. Edwards confirm.

The former North Carolina senator had been attempting to maintain the fiction that he is a decent human being, but recent revelations about his affair with videographer Rielle Hunter have cemented his douche status.

"People were willing to stand by John, but then it came out that he was planning to hire Dave Matthews to play at his wedding to Rielle," said one Edwards aide. "I think people were like, whoa, what a douche."

But Mr. Edwards' decision to admit he is a douche might not spell the end of his political career, says historian David Logsdon of the University of Minnesota.

"Of our country's forty-four Presidents, over thirty of them were total douches," he says. More here.

 

 

Follow Andy Borowitz on Twitter: www.twitter.com/BorowitzReport