12/15/2009 08:52 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Lieberman Vows to Fight for Assholes

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - Sen. Joe Lieberman of Connecticut today shrugged off suggestions that he is becoming one of the most despised men in the U.S. Senate, telling reporters, "I will continue to fight for the people I represent: America's assholes."

While Sen. Lieberman's decision to align himself with the nation's assholes could be a high-risk strategy, politically speaking, a new poll of likely Connecticut voters indicates that they are a key constituency for the Senator.

According to the survey, over 62 percent of Sen. Lieberman's supporters describe themselves as an "asshole, douchebag, or dickwad."

Additionally, a majority of those surveyed agreed with the statement, "I want an asshole to represent me in the Senate, and there is no bigger asshole out there than Joe Lieberman." More here.