ST. LOUIS (The Borowitz Report) - Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh said today that he is close to acquiring the NFL's St. Louis Rams and would rename their stadium "The House of Painkillers."
The acquisition of the Rams would represent the culmination of a dream for Mr. Limbaugh, who had previously tried to acquire the Minnesota NFL team and rename it the Minnesota Vicodins.
In other media news, the Fox News Channel vehemently denied that it was a wing of the Republican Party, stating, "Those bastards work for us, dammit!" More here.
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