07/03/2009 11:42 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Madoff's Soul Turns Up on Craigslist

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) The soul of convicted fraudster Bernard Madoff briefly appeared for sale on the popular Internet classifieds site Craigslist today, but was taken down after it became clear that there were no takers.

The seller, Satan, said that he had bought Mr. Madoff's soul forty years ago and was "disappointed" that it had turned out to be worthless.

"I guess I'm not the only schmuck who got screwed by investing in Bernie Madoff," the Prince of Darkness said.

Satan said that he was more hopeful about the performance of other souls in his investment portfolio, including Joe Jackson's.
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Andy Borowitz is a comedian and the author of "Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison: The Bernie Madoff Edition."