THE BLOG
09/16/2008 03:30 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

McCain Attacks Washington, Republicans, Old White Men with White Hair

In what some political observers are calling his most ironic speech of the 2008 campaign, GOP presidential nominee John McCain today lashed out at Washington, the Republican Party and a group of insiders he called "old white men with white hair."

"It's time to take our country back," Sen. McCain told his audience in Dayton, Ohio. "It's time to send a message to those in power -- those Republicans in Washington, those old white men with their combed-over white hair."

Sen. McCain went on to attack the power elite on Wall Street, calling them "wealthy plutocrats with private jets and too many houses to keep track of."

"The time has come to say enough is enough to those rich old white men," he said. "And the same goes to their zombie-like trophy wives who plaster their makeup on like trollops."

Responding to the nation's economic turmoil, Sen. McCain said that as president he would create millions of jobs "by putting Americans to work making negative ads."

"We no longer lead the world in manufacturing cars, steel, or computers," Sen. McCain said. "But our negative ad industry is second to none."

In other economic news, President Bush announced another massive bailout today, saying that he had completed a deal for China to buy the United States in its entirety.

"This was a difficult deal to pull off," Mr. Bush acknowledged. "The hard part was identifying the parts of the U.S. that China didn't already own."

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He hosts "Countdown to the Election, with special guests Joy Behar (The View) and Jeffrey Toobin (CNN, bestselling author of "The Nine") at the 92nd Street Y in NYC on October 22 at 8 PM. Student tickets half-price. For tickets go to 92y.org.

Subscribe to the Politics email.
How will Trump’s administration impact you?