McCain: Lobbyist Did Not Force Me into Positions

One day after The New York Times published an article raising ethical questions about Sen. John McCain's dealings with lobbyist Vicki Iseman, the Arizona senator pushed back today at a press conference in Cleveland, telling reporters, "Vicki Iseman did not force me into any positions."

Calling suggestions that Ms. Iseman could make him assume a different position "ridiculous," Sen. McCain said, "At my age, I'm not about to try out new positions that I'm uncomfortable with."

While Mr. McCain was vague about his official dealings with Ms. Iseman, he told reporters, "I would not allow a lobbyist to perform any favor for me unless it felt really, really good."

The Republican frontrunner said that neither he nor Ms. Iseman had been aware that The New York Times was conducting an investigation into their relationship, adding, "Vicki and I have been in the dark together for a long time."

But he vehemently defended the lobbyist's professionalism, telling reporters, "Vicki Iseman is an energetic and passionate woman who has bent over backwards to please me."

Early reaction to Sen. McCain's comments was mixed, with some Republicans wondering whether he had done himself more harm than good.

But Mr. McCain did receive high marks from at least one Senate colleague, Sen. Larry Craig (R-Id.).

"I called John today to offer him my encouragement," Sen. Craig said. "I said, 'It's hard, and it's going to get harder, but stick it out.'"

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com. He is the host of "Countdown to '08" at the 92nd Street Y on Tuesday, May 13 at 8 PM with his special guests Susie Essman (HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm) and Jeffrey Toobin (CNN, bestselling author of The Nine. For tickets, go to 92y.org.

Comments

[veracal]

Thanks for making me laugh so loud that I woke up the baby and the dog!!!!!!!

[veracal]

Thanks for making me laugh so loud that I woke up the baby and the dog!!!!!!!

[thomdavis1]

Andy Borowitz ...the funniest man on HuffPo! :)

[schmuckwithearlaps]

I am crying, not laughing. The conservative spin machine has within 24 hours turned this whole thing around to make the NYT the bad guy. There are articles all over the media about how this "scandal" is actually helping McCain, such as by solidifying his right wing support. We better stop laughing. It is February. By November we need to know how to deal with the Republican mastery of the media. It you want some examples of how the media is saying McCain is the big winner here, please start with today's Los Angeles Times.

[NicoleAnonymous]

So it was intentional! That was really funny.

I didn't even realize it - I thought he was writing seriously.

[NicoleAnonymous]

This is really funny. I'm not sure he is talking about politics here.

"I would not allow a lobbyist to perform any favor for me unless it felt really, really good."

"At my age, I'm not about to try out new positions that I'm uncomfortable with."

"Vicki Iseman is an energetic and passionate woman who has bent over backwards to please me."

[CatfishJohn]

...One things for certain Andy, Stepford Wife Cindy is probably in a humiliated frenzy over this embarassment of Johnny Boy's adventuresomeness with a gal 30 years his younger....so, its time to hide the vicodins and percocets from her ASAP.....we don't want Botox wifey's relapse as the next tabloid news eminating form "Honorable John's " camp...or better yet, Cindy can perhaps do the Nancy " You JUST SAY NO, while I say yes" Reagan route and cross-over to happy valium-land, so long as she adroitly avoids falling off of stages like Nancy did while in a Benzo haze a time or two in the 80's....

[Puller58]

Andy my man, you have a bright future ahead of you. Sex and politics. You just can't go wrong. As for John-John, all he has to do is remember a Louisian axiom: Don't get caught in bed with a live boy or a dead girl.

[brutus948]

That some funny stuff.

[paixa3]

"""""Vicki Iseman is an energetic and passionate woman who has bent over backwards to please me.""""""

AMERICAN business, thanks to the TREASONOUS supreme court has BENT OVER ALL of us and the citizens have had the unpleasantness of getting it in the backside for a long time.

[Geauterre]

If John McCain has a lick of sense, he will get down on his knees and pray Hillary Clinton becomes the nominee for the presidency.

Otherwise Barack Obama will be forced to cut him up like fish bait.

[SirReal1]

John McCain has been outspoken on his "preferred position" for more than a decade. Though many may decry him as "not a true conservative" he has made it clear that, aside from his years in detention (for obvious reasons) he has been a "missionary man" his entire life.

Senator Larry Craig has said "I would BEND OVER to please John anytime he'd like, so he could DRIVE HOME his support for the conservative cause".

[darcy]

Too funny!

[SlippingInTheDip]

he sais , "She bent over..."

[nieddu]

How heartening must be for McCain to get encouragement from Idaho senator Larry Graig a convicted sex-offender. This bloody republicans exude hypocrisy even when sleeping. These bastards who purport to love this country, caused so much damage that it is going to take at least a generation for the US to recover from.

[nathangimpel]

The title made me laugh. The Craig comment is great as well. I'm glad there are people out there proving that you don't have to be a liberal to be immoral.

[desmirl]

Thinking about John McCain getting it on... Nooooooooooo..... Waterboard me if you have to, but don't make me think about that...