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Andy Borowitz

Andy Borowitz

My Idea of a Heartwarming Story

Posted: 01/ 7/11 09:41 AM ET

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) -- If you'll pardon me for being serious for a moment, here's my idea of a heartwarming story:

A homeless man with no special talent gets our compassion anyway.

The Ted Williams story is, of course, riveting and hopeful. But the nation's fascination with it has nothing to do with our capacity for empathy and everything to do with our addiction to instant celebrity.

The coverage has also been shockingly patronizing. People have been amazed to learn that a homeless man might have an unusual ability, just as they were dumbfounded that an unattractive woman, Susan Boyle, did. There's also been widespread surprise that Mr. Williams had a successful career and a family (!).

I would love it if Mr. Williams' story led to an increase in compassion towards the homeless -- even the ones without viral YouTube videos. That would really be heartwarming.

More here.
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07:51 PM on 01/11/2011
SO TRUE! This man doesn't deserve the attention AT ALL. What a sham this whole thing is.

More at: http://iamthearbiter.com/?p=1773
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couer
09:03 AM on 01/09/2011
There are alot of people who do unselfish acts of kindness but it does not always get reported and many times it does. Let him have his 15 minutes and hopefully he'll run with it.

There are MANY unsung heroes out there. You are the skeptic.
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JayMonaco
08:48 AM on 01/09/2011
Right on, man. You understand true compassion--and the way most Americans think.
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intolleft
ObamaCare...getting you shovel ready
02:55 PM on 01/08/2011
You call abandoning your children and being a deadbeat dad on drugs a "heartwarming" story?
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Mortifyd
02:13 PM on 01/10/2011
I always find it interesting how men just "decide" to abandon their children when they are addicts, but women addicts aren't looked upon with the same scorn even if they abandon their children. If we faced the fact that we need to treat addicts and deal with sexism that goes against both genders we would all be better off.
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billkarwin
02:48 PM on 01/08/2011
Hear, hear. Ted Williams just happens to have a talent that can be presented easily in a YouTube clip or a segment on morning talk shows.

It's sadly common to dehumanize the homeless. In my home town, they were even called "trolls" publicly because they sometimes sought shelter under bridges. But many people have had their normal and successful lives destroyed by alcohol and drug addiction, medical conditions, or financial ruin. They need help, not insults.

Support your local shelters and food charities.
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01:44 PM on 01/08/2011
Love ya, Andy. Very well done.
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halfpricefaustian
Voted for Obama. Waiting for Godot.
01:14 PM on 01/08/2011
We need more compassion toward all who are suffering through these tough times.
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mjc
Avoid printing any..
11:16 AM on 01/08/2011
Thought NBC's Today Show celebs showed the most compassion. The Early Show kept emphasizing the point that he was only TWO years clean. Could he possibly continue to reject drugs and alcohol with all the fame and fortune...to come, that is? Really feel sorry for Ted Williams especially after hearing his "mommy" berate him for bringing such unwelcome exposure to "the family". Her lack of support sure would be a damning component of any attempt to be straight. When "mommy" was interviewed, she was much more concerned about what her son had done to her reputation, to her family's reputation, and seemed sure Ted was going to relapse. Having done some family counseling, her attitude and that of some others in the family, plus the tendency of the media to keep nudging him about the probability of falling off the 'straight and narrow' seems destined to provide some good reasons for Williams to fulfill the prophecy. Very sad. BTW two years is a pretty long time to stay away from addictive substances.
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Eileenla
Author, "Sacred Economics"
10:44 AM on 01/08/2011
Every human being has something wonderful to offer; it's just that our social structure requires us to struggle and fight with each other if we hope to give it away. What an utter waste of human energy, where only those who can manage to successfully navigate a hostile, uncaring system can hope to offer their gifts to humankind. How many potential rocket scientists, artists, inventors, teachers and philosophers die every day, never having found a way to thrust their gifts into this world? What if we changed the way we relate to each other, by supporting and encouraging others instead of making them struggle? How much more beauty might we bring forth if we nourished the flowers that our our spirits, instead of crushing them and waiting to see which hearty ones survive?
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11:42 AM on 01/08/2011
Very well stated ... how do we celebrate and reward those with a decent living wage for their contributions? It begins within one's own circle and ripples out from there ... Our very corporate gamed government is making our lives from what we eat (Monsanto orchestrated via revolving door into FDA), to how we commence commerce (banks orchestrated via revolving door into Federal Reserve and House and Senate members and staff) ... Taking back our power begins within our circle in taking care of one another and using the wonderful gifts we each have to offer ... and can ripple out from there rather rapidly. We have entered a new era in expansion.
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bobclapp1936
10:08 AM on 01/08/2011
Andy your arrow sure flys straight. With most Americans it's celebrity over compassion every time.
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booker52
avid reader
10:05 AM on 01/08/2011
The media will stick to this story until another comes along, while doing that they won't be doing this man any favors. When the spotlight goes away will he be able to stand it and carry on??
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sporty1
being me
09:17 AM on 01/08/2011
Hey c'mon he was the last player to hit 400. Truthfully I kind of like his announcer-type voice, it is better than those blaring whiners who blast me with inane loud pandering when something I am interested in on TV suddenly shuts off and a grab for my money physically assaults me with a higher volume and a quasi obscene message that has been exhaustively studied by psychologists and marketing experts to have the maximum effect of irritation and intrusion on my peace loving body. Maybe Mr Williams can introduce an element of decency into the sick world of TV advertising.
08:15 AM on 01/08/2011
Big thumbs up Andy. Very well said. I'm putting a link to this on my Facebook status, and I'd encourage others to do the same.
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07:53 AM on 01/08/2011
so true. i find andy more interesting when he is in a serious and thoughtful mood
09:13 AM on 01/08/2011
I enjoy his sarcasm.
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straightuptalker
What ever happened to common sense?
07:16 AM on 01/08/2011
Yes, and I've said the very same thing. There are a lot of people out there whom have something to offer. It may not be a golden voice that's pleasing to the ears, but chances are many have other talents and would prove to be an asset and contribute to society, if only we'd stop for a moment to take notice. Many choose to ignore the plight of the homeless by convincing themselves it's what the homeless prefer. I don't believe that's always the case. The observant reporter who interviewed Mr. Williams's and "noticed" his magic vocal chords is to be commended. He most likely saved his life, but time will tell if he can survive the media rush and spotlight. Perhaps all that's needed for others to be "rescued" from the cold, unfriendly streets and bridges is to be noticed, instead of ignored, as we pass them on the streets and tell ourselves it's what they want.