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My New Year's Thoughts

12/31/2010 01:55 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) -- Some New Year's thoughts from Andy Borowitz:

1. MMXI is also how Sarah Palin spells "America."

2. In a compromise worked out with Republicans, tomorrow will be January 1, 1811.

3. TMZ reports that at midnight Justin Bieber's balls will drop. More here.

The Los Angeles Times says Andy Borowitz has "one of the funniest Twitter feeds around." Follow Andy on Twitter here.