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New iPhone App Translates Palin Speech into English

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CUPERTINO (The Borowitz Report) - In what it hopes will be a blockbuster addition to its trove of popular iPhone applications, Apple announced today that it was introducing a new app that can translate the utterances of former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin into English.

The application, called the iPal, is available for downloading today, the company confirmed.

According to Apple, a user of the iPal app can hold his iPhone up to a television when Ms. Palin is appearing and receive a real-time English translation in text form.

Carol Foyler, 34, an early adopter of the iPal app, said that the application is not without its glitches, however.

"I tried to use it last night during a replay of her resignation speech," she said. "When she got to the part about being a good point guard my phone exploded." More here.

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and the author of "Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison: The Bernie Madoff Edition."